ree!”

Needless to say, I was all over that phone in a flash and got a live person on the other end. She explained they would definitely be over in half an hour. I hung up and almost hugged the big guy or thing, as he backed away. He then hopped out the front door telling me, “I was just doing my job. I’m Wolley Segap.” And he disappeared into the ni

I wasn’t facing a severe problem until the sun went down. It was nightfall and now, I was forced to light a bunch of dusty old candles and place them around the living room. The power had been out for several hours now and I was getting pretty grumpy. Besides the lack of air conditioning, I missed my television and microwave. Yes, I had checked the fuse box and called a few neighbors, only to discover that I was the lone loser on the street. Nothing worked. I kept the fridge closed to preserve what little cold food I had. I felt isolated and cheated of my favorite things like my stereo and computer.

Once I noticed the electrical shutdown, I had quickly plucked the Yellow Pages off the kitchen counter and poured over the listings in the diminishing afternoon light. The ads showed dancing light bulbs and lightening images, along with drawing of repair trucks. Not what I needed. Some shouted, “Electrical Professionals” or “No Trip Charges.” I was unimpressed. So I sat in my favorite chair and watched the flickering candlelight cast strange shapes on the walls.

Then, suddenly, a rectangular shape appeared, as if out of nowhere, startling me to my feet. He, or she, or it, said, “Sorry to interrupt, but I hated to see you spending your days in the dark. Take a look at this ad.” He then opened the middle of his yellow, book-shaped body, to a page that said, “Citywide Service in 30 Minutes or it’s Free!”

Needless to say, I was all over that phone in a flash and got a live person on the other end. She explained they would definitely be over in half an hour. I hung up and almost hugged the big guy or thing, as he backed away. He then hopped out the front door telling me, “I was just doing my job. I’m Wolley Segap.” And he disappeared into the nig

box and called a few neighbors, only to discover that I was the lone loser on the street. Nothing worked. I kept the fridge closed to preserve what little cold food I had. I felt isolated and cheated of my favorite things like my stereo and computer.

Once I noticed the electrical shutdown, I had quickly plucked the Yellow Pages off the kitchen counter and poured over the listings in the diminishing afternoon light. The ads showed dancing light bulbs and lightening images, along with drawing of repair trucks. Not what I needed. Some shouted, “Electrical Professionals” or “No Trip Charges.” I was unimpressed. So I sat in my favorite chair and watched the flickering candlelight cast strange shapes on the walls.

Then, suddenly, a rectangular shape appeared, as if out of nowhere, startling me to my feet. He, or she, or it, said, “Sorry to interrupt, but I hated to see you spending your days in the dark. Take a look at this ad.” He then opened the middle of his yellow, book-shaped body, to a page that said, “Citywide Service in 30 Minutes or it’s Free!”

Needless to say, I was all over that phone in a flash and got a live person on the other end. She explained they would definitely be over in half an hour. I hung up and almost hugged the big guy or thing, as he backed away. He then hopped out the front door telling me, “I was just doing my job. I’m Wolley Segap.” And he disappeared into the ni

ter and poured over the listings in the diminishing afternoon light. The ads showed dancing light bulbs and lightening images, along with drawing of repair trucks. Not what I needed. Some shouted, “Electrical Professionals” or “No Trip Charges.” I was unimpressed. So I sat in my favorite chair and watched the flickering candlelight cast strange shapes on the walls.

Then, suddenly, a rectangular shape appeared, as if out of nowhere, startling me to my feet. He, or she, or it, said, “Sorry to interrupt, but I hated to see you spending your days in the dark. Take a look at this ad.” He then opened the middle of his yellow, book-shaped body, to a page that said, “Citywide Service in 30 Minutes or it’s Free!”

Needless to say, I was all over that phone in a flash and got a live person on the other end. She explained they would definitely be over in half an hour. I hung up and almost hugged the big guy or thing, as he backed away. He then hopped out the front door telling me, “I was just doing my job. I’m Wolley Segap.” And he disappeared into the ni

he walls.

Then, suddenly, a rectangular shape appeared, as if out of nowhere, startling me to my feet. He, or she, or it, said, “Sorry to interrupt, but I hated to see you spending your days in the dark. Take a look at this ad.” He then opened the middle of his yellow, book-shaped body, to a page that said, “Citywide Service in 30 Minutes or it’s Free!”

Needless to say, I was all over that phone in a flash and got a live person on the other end. She explained they would definitely be over in half an hour. I hung up and almost hugged the big guy or thing, as he backed away. He then hopped out the front door telling me, “I was just doing my job. I’m Wolley Segap.” And he disappeared into the ni

ree!”

Needless to say, I was all over that phone in a flash and got a live person on the other end. She explained they would definitely be over in half an hour. I hung up and almost hugged the big guy or thing, as he backed away. He then hopped out the front door telling me, “I was just doing my job. I’m Wolley Segap.” And he disappeared into the night. The end… or is it?

This little story was designed to serve a purpose and illustrate the need for effective advertising. So, attention business people: Is your Yellow Page ad doing its job? If not, let this serve as your wake-up call. I’ve witnessed many companies that thought they had an ad that worked, while, in reality, it had a flawed headline, lousy copy, or pathetic artwork. How do I know?

I was a YP rep and consultant for nearly 25 years and, prior to that, had my own advertising agency. I also have a degree in marketing. I’ve been designing Yellow Page ads for the past three decades. So I have expertise in YP creation and have advised almost 7000 companies on how to put together the most effective YP ads. If you have a display or in-column ad, regardless of size, color or position, I can tell you it most probably needs improvement in the headline, artwork, body text, placement, book, or heading. You must understand the ROI or return on investment and learn how to track the results as well.

So consider getting some expert advice before you place your next ad. There are many good and inexpensive places to turn, some available on the internet. Make sure the consultant is well qualified with at least 25 years experience. Otherwise, you’ll be wasting your own time and money. Then, hopefully, you wont’ really need Wolley Segap coming to the rescue after all.