it sprang open to an interior page and displayed an ad stating, “Maybe Your Appliance needs a Tune-Up or Part. Ask us Because We Care!”

Immediately I perked up. Imagine, someone that really cared. I was elated and sought out the phone. I dialed their number and got a technician to come out that very evening. I decided that maybe there was hope for the old gal after all. The grinning phone book on skinny legs said, “Just remember that Wolley Segap came to your rescue,”and then van

Our love affair was coming to a close, I was afraid. I had done my best, but the handwriting was on the wall. She had been really good to me all those years. She had provided everything a man could want, and probably more. She was always prompt, efficient, reliable and there for me. And the way she moved and gyrated. Oh my! I even liked her fresh smell after taking in a particularly large load. But that was a distant memory now. It was a warm Friday night and I just stood and watched her in silence. She was staring back at me, just about pleading to be back to normal, while looking white as a ghost. I almost cried. But, I realized I still had work to do and came to my senses.

I had pulled her away from the wall, in order to get to her more important rear entry. After removing the back panel, I had her right where I wanted her. But I couldn’t find anything obviously wrong. It was pretty upsetting, that a man couldn’t perform at that level. But then again, I was no spring chicken. So I did what any other man would do in this situation. I admitted defeat and slowly crept toward the Yellow Pages. I went directly to the appliance repair section, looking for “washer service.” It was a slightly older model, but, frankly, at this point in our relationship, I was willing to take what I could get.

To say I was disappointed was putting it mildly. Most of these big ads touted, “Service Today,” or “Emergency Experts,” or “Affordable Repair.” That’s not what I wanted. After all, she was almost a member of the family and deserved better. I sank into my favorite living room Lazyboy chair and considered my options. I hated the thought of getting rid of the old lady, just because she was having issues. So I sat in contemplation when a strange event occurred. A jolly elf-like character resembling a huge phone book appeared out of nowhere and actually spoke to me. “Don’t look so glum. I’m here to help. Check this out.” And with that, it sprang open to an interior page and displayed an ad stating, “Maybe Your Appliance needs a Tune-Up or Part. Ask us Because We Care!”

Immediately I perked up. Imagine, someone that really cared. I was elated and sought out the phone. I dialed their number and got a technician to come out that very evening. I decided that maybe there was hope for the old gal after all. The grinning phone book on skinny legs said, “Just remember that Wolley Segap came to your rescue,”and then vani

her in silence. She was staring back at me, just about pleading to be back to normal, while looking white as a ghost. I almost cried. But, I realized I still had work to do and came to my senses.

I had pulled her away from the wall, in order to get to her more important rear entry. After removing the back panel, I had her right where I wanted her. But I couldn’t find anything obviously wrong. It was pretty upsetting, that a man couldn’t perform at that level. But then again, I was no spring chicken. So I did what any other man would do in this situation. I admitted defeat and slowly crept toward the Yellow Pages. I went directly to the appliance repair section, looking for “washer service.” It was a slightly older model, but, frankly, at this point in our relationship, I was willing to take what I could get.

To say I was disappointed was putting it mildly. Most of these big ads touted, “Service Today,” or “Emergency Experts,” or “Affordable Repair.” That’s not what I wanted. After all, she was almost a member of the family and deserved better. I sank into my favorite living room Lazyboy chair and considered my options. I hated the thought of getting rid of the old lady, just because she was having issues. So I sat in contemplation when a strange event occurred. A jolly elf-like character resembling a huge phone book appeared out of nowhere and actually spoke to me. “Don’t look so glum. I’m here to help. Check this out.” And with that, it sprang open to an interior page and displayed an ad stating, “Maybe Your Appliance needs a Tune-Up or Part. Ask us Because We Care!”

Immediately I perked up. Imagine, someone that really cared. I was elated and sought out the phone. I dialed their number and got a technician to come out that very evening. I decided that maybe there was hope for the old gal after all. The grinning phone book on skinny legs said, “Just remember that Wolley Segap came to your rescue,”and then van

as no spring chicken. So I did what any other man would do in this situation. I admitted defeat and slowly crept toward the Yellow Pages. I went directly to the appliance repair section, looking for “washer service.” It was a slightly older model, but, frankly, at this point in our relationship, I was willing to take what I could get.

To say I was disappointed was putting it mildly. Most of these big ads touted, “Service Today,” or “Emergency Experts,” or “Affordable Repair.” That’s not what I wanted. After all, she was almost a member of the family and deserved better. I sank into my favorite living room Lazyboy chair and considered my options. I hated the thought of getting rid of the old lady, just because she was having issues. So I sat in contemplation when a strange event occurred. A jolly elf-like character resembling a huge phone book appeared out of nowhere and actually spoke to me. “Don’t look so glum. I’m here to help. Check this out.” And with that, it sprang open to an interior page and displayed an ad stating, “Maybe Your Appliance needs a Tune-Up or Part. Ask us Because We Care!”

Immediately I perked up. Imagine, someone that really cared. I was elated and sought out the phone. I dialed their number and got a technician to come out that very evening. I decided that maybe there was hope for the old gal after all. The grinning phone book on skinny legs said, “Just remember that Wolley Segap came to your rescue,”and then van

’s not what I wanted. After all, she was almost a member of the family and deserved better. I sank into my favorite living room Lazyboy chair and considered my options. I hated the thought of getting rid of the old lady, just because she was having issues. So I sat in contemplation when a strange event occurred. A jolly elf-like character resembling a huge phone book appeared out of nowhere and actually spoke to me. “Don’t look so glum. I’m here to help. Check this out.” And with that, it sprang open to an interior page and displayed an ad stating, “Maybe Your Appliance needs a Tune-Up or Part. Ask us Because We Care!”

Immediately I perked up. Imagine, someone that really cared. I was elated and sought out the phone. I dialed their number and got a technician to come out that very evening. I decided that maybe there was hope for the old gal after all. The grinning phone book on skinny legs said, “Just remember that Wolley Segap came to your rescue,”and then van

it sprang open to an interior page and displayed an ad stating, “Maybe Your Appliance needs a Tune-Up or Part. Ask us Because We Care!”

Immediately I perked up. Imagine, someone that really cared. I was elated and sought out the phone. I dialed their number and got a technician to come out that very evening. I decided that maybe there was hope for the old gal after all. The grinning phone book on skinny legs said, “Just remember that Wolley Segap came to your rescue,”and then vanished as quickly as it appeared. The end… or is it?

This little story was designed to serve a purpose and illustrate the need for effective advertising. So, attention business people: Is your Yellow Page ad doing its job? If not, let this serve as your wake-up call. I’ve witnessed many companies that thought they had an ad that worked, while, in reality, it had a flawed headline, lousy copy, or pathetic artwork. How do I know?

I was a YP rep and consultant for nearly 25 years and, prior to that, had my own advertising agency. I also have a degree in marketing. I’ve been designing Yellow Page ads for the past three decades. So I have expertise in YP creation and have advised almost 7000 companies on how to put together the most effective YP ads. If you have a display or in-column ad, regardless of size, color or position, I can tell you it most probably needs improvement in the headline, artwork, body text, placement, book, or heading. You must understand the ROI or return on investment and learn how to track the results as well.

So consider getting some expert advice before you place your next ad. There are many good and inexpensive places to turn, some available on the internet. Make sure the consultant is well qualified with at least 25 years experience. Otherwise, you’ll be wasting your own time and money. Then, hopefully, you wont’ really need Wolley Segap coming to the rescue after all.