The pictures are printed on heavy grade, high-gloss stock. Color, composition and the orchestration of light and shadow is artful and dramatic. These are photographic masterpieces, and were undoubtedly extremely expensive to produce.

The HP rep glances around the table and then quietly closes his briefcase. ‘Gentlemen, I have nothing else to say...

A large purchase contract for a new computer system linking its far-flung international operations will be awarded today in Peoria, Illinois by Caterpillar, Inc., the construction machinery manufacturer.

Bidding competition among integrated computer software and hardware firms is fierce, and ongoing... and for good reason. A record-breaking $850 million are up for grabs. Another $600 million in related service contracts are also on the table, just waiting to be snapped up.

The following is what occurred yesterday, as reported in the Wall Street Journal...

“...The top-producing sales rep for Hewlett-Packard, the last in a long line of computer system sales reps to visit CAT headquarters, strides with a quick and confident step into the high-ceilinged, wood-paneled office of CAT’s Chief Financial Officer.

Seated around an oval, dark-wood, highly-polished conference table are the CFO, his two assistants, the IT department head, his two assistants and a bevy of lesser known department heads.

Each one rises with a wane and tired smile, and extends a perfunctory handshake to the HP rep.

The CAT execs are pressed for time, and they’d like this meeting to end even before it begins.

For these harried MBA’s and engineers the entire three month long purchase process has been a painful exercise in perseverance, endurance and patience.

They’ve listened to sales rep after sales rep spew endless superlatives, guarantees and performance statistics that clearly test the limits of credibility.

Nonetheless, they’re eager to choose a system – if for no other reason than to finally move on to other far more pressing matters.

The HP rep understands this, he’s done his research. He’s read the bio’s of all the department heads, and he’s intimately familiar with CAT’s purchasing protocols and decision-making culture.

He also knows that if he can ink the deal – he’ll earn a princely six-figure commission.

He opens his briefcase and solemnly removes a stack of 8”X10” photos, and without a word passes them around the table.

One photo shows a smiling, smartly dressed secretary working at her computer terminal. Another is a seemingly simple picture of a wireless keyboard and mouse. Another picture shows hundred dollar bills stacked chest-high atop a desk. And still another picture shows two men shaking hands in front of CAT’s Peoria headquarters.

The pictures are printed on heavy grade, high-gloss stock. Color, composition and the orchestration of light and shadow is artful and dramatic. These are photographic masterpieces, and were undoubtedly extremely expensive to produce.

The HP rep glances around the table and then quietly closes his briefcase. ‘Gentlemen, I have nothing else to say...?

“...The top-producing sales rep for Hewlett-Packard, the last in a long line of computer system sales reps to visit CAT headquarters, strides with a quick and confident step into the high-ceilinged, wood-paneled office of CAT’s Chief Financial Officer.

Seated around an oval, dark-wood, highly-polished conference table are the CFO, his two assistants, the IT department head, his two assistants and a bevy of lesser known department heads.

Each one rises with a wane and tired smile, and extends a perfunctory handshake to the HP rep.

The CAT execs are pressed for time, and they’d like this meeting to end even before it begins.

For these harried MBA’s and engineers the entire three month long purchase process has been a painful exercise in perseverance, endurance and patience.

They’ve listened to sales rep after sales rep spew endless superlatives, guarantees and performance statistics that clearly test the limits of credibility.

Nonetheless, they’re eager to choose a system – if for no other reason than to finally move on to other far more pressing matters.

The HP rep understands this, he’s done his research. He’s read the bio’s of all the department heads, and he’s intimately familiar with CAT’s purchasing protocols and decision-making culture.

He also knows that if he can ink the deal – he’ll earn a princely six-figure commission.

He opens his briefcase and solemnly removes a stack of 8”X10” photos, and without a word passes them around the table.

One photo shows a smiling, smartly dressed secretary working at her computer terminal. Another is a seemingly simple picture of a wireless keyboard and mouse. Another picture shows hundred dollar bills stacked chest-high atop a desk. And still another picture shows two men shaking hands in front of CAT’s Peoria headquarters.

The pictures are printed on heavy grade, high-gloss stock. Color, composition and the orchestration of light and shadow is artful and dramatic. These are photographic masterpieces, and were undoubtedly extremely expensive to produce.

The HP rep glances around the table and then quietly closes his briefcase. ‘Gentlemen, I have nothing else to say...

The CAT execs are pressed for time, and they’d like this meeting to end even before it begins.

For these harried MBA’s and engineers the entire three month long purchase process has been a painful exercise in perseverance, endurance and patience.

They’ve listened to sales rep after sales rep spew endless superlatives, guarantees and performance statistics that clearly test the limits of credibility.

Nonetheless, they’re eager to choose a system – if for no other reason than to finally move on to other far more pressing matters.

The HP rep understands this, he’s done his research. He’s read the bio’s of all the department heads, and he’s intimately familiar with CAT’s purchasing protocols and decision-making culture.

He also knows that if he can ink the deal – he’ll earn a princely six-figure commission.

He opens his briefcase and solemnly removes a stack of 8”X10” photos, and without a word passes them around the table.

One photo shows a smiling, smartly dressed secretary working at her computer terminal. Another is a seemingly simple picture of a wireless keyboard and mouse. Another picture shows hundred dollar bills stacked chest-high atop a desk. And still another picture shows two men shaking hands in front of CAT’s Peoria headquarters.

The pictures are printed on heavy grade, high-gloss stock. Color, composition and the orchestration of light and shadow is artful and dramatic. These are photographic masterpieces, and were undoubtedly extremely expensive to produce.

The HP rep glances around the table and then quietly closes his briefcase. ‘Gentlemen, I have nothing else to say...

The HP rep understands this, he’s done his research. He’s read the bio’s of all the department heads, and he’s intimately familiar with CAT’s purchasing protocols and decision-making culture.

He also knows that if he can ink the deal – he’ll earn a princely six-figure commission.

He opens his briefcase and solemnly removes a stack of 8”X10” photos, and without a word passes them around the table.

One photo shows a smiling, smartly dressed secretary working at her computer terminal. Another is a seemingly simple picture of a wireless keyboard and mouse. Another picture shows hundred dollar bills stacked chest-high atop a desk. And still another picture shows two men shaking hands in front of CAT’s Peoria headquarters.

The pictures are printed on heavy grade, high-gloss stock. Color, composition and the orchestration of light and shadow is artful and dramatic. These are photographic masterpieces, and were undoubtedly extremely expensive to produce.

The HP rep glances around the table and then quietly closes his briefcase. ‘Gentlemen, I have nothing else to say...

The pictures are printed on heavy grade, high-gloss stock. Color, composition and the orchestration of light and shadow is artful and dramatic. These are photographic masterpieces, and were undoubtedly extremely expensive to produce.

The HP rep glances around the table and then quietly closes his briefcase. ‘Gentlemen, I have nothing else to say...?’”

SAY WHAT?

Yeah, exactly, say nothing – pass out pictures instead. Unbelievably, that was the HP rep’s entire sales presentation.

Wait a minute, you say. No salesman would ever do such a patently stupid thing.

Wanna bet? Most businesses do exactly that – every day.

For some odd reason – a distinctly Madison Avenue type reason – most businesses believe that to drive sales all they need do is literally – literally – present a pretty picture.

For their corporate website they’ll hire a web design company to create dramatic MTV-quality multi-media flash presentations that are extremely adept at selling... what else, the web design company.

Or they’ll load their web pages with graphics and fonts that dazzle and overwhelm if not permanently blind the eye – believing that “eye candy” alone will motivate their visitors to click the “Submit Order” button (if only they can find it).

Or they’ll hire an ad agency to design a full page ad – which will then organize an expedition to the top of Mt. Everest to photograph a smiling Sherpa using their client’s toilet bowl cleaner (while the company’s contact information will be at the bottom of the mountain, buried in the snow).

Or they’ll commission a 60-second TV spot of a digitally created woman running through a digitally created field of flowers with digitally created children and dogs in tow – believing this will prompt viewers to run to their phones to request an auto insurance quote – though no phone number is provided (after all, why ruin the effect.)

Sure, many people (though not necessarily those being targeted) will gush about how imaginative, entertaining, fun and creative these ads, websites or TV commercials are – and, ironically, they’ll win numerous coveted awards.

But the companies that commissioned these expensive misadventures... will quietly and quickly go bankrupt, because...

Pretty Ads, TV Commercials and Websites DO NOT Generate Sales!

You see, for most businesses, marketing and advertising is decoration, corporate ego aggrandizement – the thumping of chests and the hollow bellowing of achievement.

Copy, as in “words that sell”, is viewed as a crass intrusion by these pu