erely knowing how to use a phone is an indispensable personal tool. Often people dial a number without any idea of what they are going to say or how they should address the person at the other end. Instead, they become the victim of nervousness, they mumble incoherently and at lengA relative once confided rather gloomily that he had been to a party which was not very enjoyable because hardly anyone spoke to him. Lacking the necessary interpersonal skills, he clammed up like a frightened crab, hugged one section of the room and hoped someone else would make the first move. No one did and he was the loser. Being frightened of initiating contact themself, he was, of course, ignored.

Interpersonal skills are essential ingredients of good communication and social finesse, but they do not come naturally. They are strongly related to the way we were brought up (whether we were expected to be seen and not heard), our inner feelings about ourselves, our level of confidence and degree of interest in others. When such skills are missing in the home, group or office, it can lead to loneliness, frustration, non-cooperation and substandard service. Routine skills are required on three levels: personal, social and occupational. To have them well-developed means you can communicate verbally, physically and in writing with far more confidence and assurance.

For example, merely knowing how to use a phone is an indispensable personal tool. Often people dial a number without any idea of what they are going to say or how they should address the person at the other end. Instead, they become the victim of nervousness, they mumble incoherently and at lengt

he first move. No one did and he was the loser. Being frightened of initiating contact themself, he was, of course, ignored.

Interpersonal skills are essential ingredients of good communication and social finesse, but they do not come naturally. They are strongly related to the way we were brought up (whether we were expected to be seen and not heard), our inner feelings about ourselves, our level of confidence and degree of interest in others. When such skills are missing in the home, group or office, it can lead to loneliness, frustration, non-cooperation and substandard service. Routine skills are required on three levels: personal, social and occupational. To have them well-developed means you can communicate verbally, physically and in writing with far more confidence and assurance.

For example, merely knowing how to use a phone is an indispensable personal tool. Often people dial a number without any idea of what they are going to say or how they should address the person at the other end. Instead, they become the victim of nervousness, they mumble incoherently and at leng

he way we were brought up (whether we were expected to be seen and not heard), our inner feelings about ourselves, our level of confidence and degree of interest in others. When such skills are missing in the home, group or office, it can lead to loneliness, frustration, non-cooperation and substandard service. Routine skills are required on three levels: personal, social and occupational. To have them well-developed means you can communicate verbally, physically and in writing with far more confidence and assurance.

For example, merely knowing how to use a phone is an indispensable personal tool. Often people dial a number without any idea of what they are going to say or how they should address the person at the other end. Instead, they become the victim of nervousness, they mumble incoherently and at leng

ation and substandard service. Routine skills are required on three levels: personal, social and occupational. To have them well-developed means you can communicate verbally, physically and in writing with far more confidence and assurance.

For example, merely knowing how to use a phone is an indispensable personal tool. Often people dial a number without any idea of what they are going to say or how they should address the person at the other end. Instead, they become the victim of nervousness, they mumble incoherently and at leng

erely knowing how to use a phone is an indispensable personal tool. Often people dial a number without any idea of what they are going to say or how they should address the person at the other end. Instead, they become the victim of nervousness, they mumble incoherently and at length while they waste needless time in their search for information and their desire to be understood. On the other hand, some receptionists may rudely, or impatiently, respond to callers in a manner suggesting some surprise that anyone should ring their number to disturb their peace!

The Need for Social Skills

Good interpersonal skills assume even more importance on a social level. They are the invisible glue which binds relationships together. Without those skills, we would cause much pain and anguish for our friends and associates and unhappiness for ourselves. Advance skills reveal themselves through a readiness to share ideas and resources, to give credit where it is due, to offer constructive criticism, to enquire into a person's health or circumstance or even being the first one to say hello.

Shy people find it difficult to do most of these things because their own level of self appreciation is often so low they cannot project a favourable image of themselves or take any genuine interest in others. The focus is always on themselves as they seek approval without really having the