So the evidence is clear: either my humble opinion really does count to a lot of people or I just have a lot of people snowed. I'm leaning toward the latter since it requires far less effort on my part.

Most of these misguided folks seek my opinion for no other reason than I write this column. They think that because I can string together a couple of thousand words in a semi-coherent manner on a weekly basis, what I think must have some relevance to the world. Truth be told, most weeks this column writes itself. In fact, I don't consider myself a writer so much as a cranky chronicler of life, a benign bystander, an existential fly on the wall. I just sit on the sidelines and take note of what's happening around me, then I run it through a spell checker and report it to you. Think of me as the hall monitor in the Big School of Life. By the way, where's your hall pass?

While most people ask my opinion on current events, others want to know what I think about things that haven't even happened yet, like I'm some kind of psychic hotline operator. "Who do you think the next president will be?" they ask. "Do you think North and South Korea will ever unite? Do you think there will ever be an Irish Pope? Do you think Prince Charles' ears can get any bigger? Do you think the new Barbie will be able to wear the old Barbie's clothes?"

Since so many people seem to think that I can see into the future, not to mention that we are on the threshold of the new year, I decided to put my psychic abilities to the test. After all, I had nothing to lose and the answers to many questions to gain. Questions like: Can I really see into the future? Do I really possess the gift of foresight? If I really can see into the future, what's the best way to make a fast buck off such an ability, and more importantly, will it help me remember where I left my carkeys?

I put myself in a deep, hypnotic trance by watching an entire episode of "Baywatch" with the sound turned down, then I closed my eyes and let the visions come. For a while, all I could see was water and red bathing suits, but finally the waves did part and the future became clear.

Here, then, are my top ten predictions for the coming year:

1. Lisa Marie Presley will announce that she is pregnant with exhusband Michael Jackson's child. Though it is unclear whether the baby will be a boy or girl, it will be born with interchangeable parts, just like its daddy.

2. Speaking of Michael Jackson, the Gaudy Gloved One will decide to have a sex change operation by the end of the year. Confused doctors will announce that such surgery isn't an option for Jackson because they can't determine what sex he/she/it is now.

3. At the 1998 Governors' Ball held at the White House, Alabama Governor Fob James will experience a painful attack of intestinal gas while dancing with Hillary Clinton. Footage of the attack will be aired on newscasts around the country, sparking a dance craze that proves even more popular than the Macarena. In the words of "Soul Train" host Don Cornelius, "Everybody be doin' the Fob!"

4. It will be proven that President Bill Clinton was not only involved in Whitewater and illegal campaign fundraising, but was also instrumental in the creation of the Arch Deluxe.

5. Due to the lack of viable candidates to run in the next presidential election, the Republican Party will attempt to revive the political career of Ronald Reagan. The fact that he is suffering from Altzheimer's will be considered by many to be a political plus.

6. Microsoft head Bill Gates will consider entering politics, but will change his mind after failing to get the office of "God of Earth and Hellfire" a
   Healthy Diets are Colorful Diets: Eating the Rainbow for Good Nutrition
   If you are trying to be a healthy eater, you may already pay attention to vitamins, minerals and the basic food groups. It might surprise you to learn that many experts on healthy diets also recommend paying attention to the color of your food.Where I live, every Friday is Fish Fry day. Many of the restaurants in town offer “Fish Fry” on Fridays, and, it seems, nearly everyone eats Fish Fry on that day. “Fish Fry” is almost always a dinner of fried fish, baked potato with sour cream, and cole slaw. Something started bothering me about the Fish Fry plate, and in time I realized it was the color of the selections: the fish was white (on the inside), th
   lumn. They think that because I can string together a couple of thousand words in a semi-coherent manner on a weekly basis, what I think must have some relevance to the world. Truth be told, most weeks this column writes itself. In fact, I don't consider myself a writer so much as a cranky chronicler of life, a benign bystander, an existential fly on the wall. I just sit on the sidelines and take note of what's happening around me, then I run it through a spell checker and report it to you. Think of me as the hall monitor in the Big School of Life. By the way, where's your hall pass?

   While most people ask my opinion on current events, others want to know what I think about things that haven't even happened yet, like I'm some kind of psychic hotline operator. "Who do you think the next president will be?" they ask. "Do you think North and South Korea will ever unite? Do you think there will ever be an Irish Pope? Do you think Prince Charles' ears can get any bigger? Do you think the new Barbie will be able to wear the old Barbie's clothes?"

   Since so many people seem to think that I can see into the future, not to mention that we are on the threshold of the new year, I decided to put my psychic abilities to the test. After all, I had nothing to lose and the answers to many questions to gain. Questions like: Can I really see into the future? Do I really possess the gift of foresight? If I really can see into the future, what's the best way to make a fast buck off such an ability, and more importantly, will it help me remember where I left my carkeys?

   I put myself in a deep, hypnotic trance by watching an entire episode of "Baywatch" with the sound turned down, then I closed my eyes and let the visions come. For a while, all I could see was water and red bathing suits, but finally the waves did part and the future became clear.

   Here, then, are my top ten predictions for the coming year:

   1. Lisa Marie Presley will announce that she is pregnant with exhusband Michael Jackson's child. Though it is unclear whether the baby will be a boy or girl, it will be born with interchangeable parts, just like its daddy.

   2. Speaking of Michael Jackson, the Gaudy Gloved One will decide to have a sex change operation by the end of the year. Confused doctors will announce that such surgery isn't an option for Jackson because they can't determine what sex he/she/it is now.

   3. At the 1998 Governors' Ball held at the White House, Alabama Governor Fob James will experience a painful attack of intestinal gas while dancing with Hillary Clinton. Footage of the attack will be aired on newscasts around the country, sparking a dance craze that proves even more popular than the Macarena. In the words of "Soul Train" host Don Cornelius, "Everybody be doin' the Fob!"

   4. It will be proven that President Bill Clinton was not only involved in Whitewater and illegal campaign fundraising, but was also instrumental in the creation of the Arch Deluxe.

   5. Due to the lack of viable candidates to run in the next presidential election, the Republican Party will attempt to revive the political career of Ronald Reagan. The fact that he is suffering from Altzheimer's will be considered by many to be a political plus.

   6. Microsoft head Bill Gates will consider entering politics, but will change his mind after failing to get the office of "God of Earth and Hellfire"
      Treating Anxiety Disorders : Will Medication Really Work ?
      At certain times in your life, you might have been plagued with worries or anxious. It might have been in the wake of beginning a marriage, starting a new career, or caring for a sick child. The worry might have affected you not only emotionally but physically as well.You might have experienced feelings of uneasiness, faintness, or breathing troubles.There are degrees of severity when it comes to anxiety. For instance, it can be mild, lasting only a day or two, or severe, lasting an entire month.You might experience generalized anxiety disorder or something more specific such as phobias, panic, or post-traumatic stress disorder.Anxiety might be treated with an anti-depr
      orea will ever unite? Do you think there will ever be an Irish Pope? Do you think Prince Charles' ears can get any bigger? Do you think the new Barbie will be able to wear the old Barbie's clothes?"

      Since so many people seem to think that I can see into the future, not to mention that we are on the threshold of the new year, I decided to put my psychic abilities to the test. After all, I had nothing to lose and the answers to many questions to gain. Questions like: Can I really see into the future? Do I really possess the gift of foresight? If I really can see into the future, what's the best way to make a fast buck off such an ability, and more importantly, will it help me remember where I left my carkeys?

      I put myself in a deep, hypnotic trance by watching an entire episode of "Baywatch" with the sound turned down, then I closed my eyes and let the visions come. For a while, all I could see was water and red bathing suits, but finally the waves did part and the future became clear.

      Here, then, are my top ten predictions for the coming year:

      1. Lisa Marie Presley will announce that she is pregnant with exhusband Michael Jackson's child. Though it is unclear whether the baby will be a boy or girl, it will be born with interchangeable parts, just like its daddy.

      2. Speaking of Michael Jackson, the Gaudy Gloved One will decide to have a sex change operation by the end of the year. Confused doctors will announce that such surgery isn't an option for Jackson because they can't determine what sex he/she/it is now.

      3. At the 1998 Governors' Ball held at the White House, Alabama Governor Fob James will experience a painful attack of intestinal gas while dancing with Hillary Clinton. Footage of the attack will be aired on newscasts around the country, sparking a dance craze that proves even more popular than the Macarena. In the words of "Soul Train" host Don Cornelius, "Everybody be doin' the Fob!"

      4. It will be proven that President Bill Clinton was not only involved in Whitewater and illegal campaign fundraising, but was also instrumental in the creation of the Arch Deluxe.

      5. Due to the lack of viable candidates to run in the next presidential election, the Republican Party will attempt to revive the political career of Ronald Reagan. The fact that he is suffering from Altzheimer's will be considered by many to be a political plus.

      6. Microsoft head Bill Gates will consider entering politics, but will change his mind after failing to get the office of "God of Earth and Hellfire"
         The Benefits on St. John's Wort for Treating Depression Naturally
         Millions of people suffer from the effects of depression all over the world. In the United States, almost one in six are affected by depression and require some type of medical treatment. There are several treatment options available from prescription drugs to therapy to natural remedies. Each option has its own pros and cons. This article will go over using St. John's Wort for treating depression naturally.Because depression affects so many people and since not everyone wants to take prescription drugs or suffer from the side effects, they turn to natural remedies looking for a better answer. Several herbs have been studied for their mind soothing effects and mood boosti
         and let the visions come. For a while, all I could see was water and red bathing suits, but finally the waves did part and the future became clear.

         Here, then, are my top ten predictions for the coming year:

         1. Lisa Marie Presley will announce that she is pregnant with exhusband Michael Jackson's child. Though it is unclear whether the baby will be a boy or girl, it will be born with interchangeable parts, just like its daddy.

         2. Speaking of Michael Jackson, the Gaudy Gloved One will decide to have a sex change operation by the end of the year. Confused doctors will announce that such surgery isn't an option for Jackson because they can't determine what sex he/she/it is now.

         3. At the 1998 Governors' Ball held at the White House, Alabama Governor Fob James will experience a painful attack of intestinal gas while dancing with Hillary Clinton. Footage of the attack will be aired on newscasts around the country, sparking a dance craze that proves even more popular than the Macarena. In the words of "Soul Train" host Don Cornelius, "Everybody be doin' the Fob!"

         4. It will be proven that President Bill Clinton was not only involved in Whitewater and illegal campaign fundraising, but was also instrumental in the creation of the Arch Deluxe.

         5. Due to the lack of viable candidates to run in the next presidential election, the Republican Party will attempt to revive the political career of Ronald Reagan. The fact that he is suffering from Altzheimer's will be considered by many to be a political plus.

         6. Microsoft head Bill Gates will consider entering politics, but will change his mind after failing to get the office of "God of Earth and Hellfire"
            Benefits of Apple Cider Vinegar
            Apple cider vinegar has a lot of benefits for your health. It's no surprise why Oprah, 20/20 and CBS, to mention a few, all rave about apple cider vinegar and its benefits.There are also many books written about apple cider vinegar describing how excellent it is for your health. The best-selling books on the subject include Apple Cider Vinegar Miracle Health System by Patricia Bragg, Amazing Apple Cider Vinegar by Earl Mindell, Apple Cider Vinegar for Weight Loss and Good Health by Cynthia Holzapfel and Dr. Karkar's Apple Cider Vinegar Cures and Treats by Dr. Karkar.Proponents believe that apple cider vinegar can cure or help with a myriad of diseases and health probl
            ing with Hillary Clinton. Footage of the attack will be aired on newscasts around the country, sparking a dance craze that proves even more popular than the Macarena. In the words of "Soul Train" host Don Cornelius, "Everybody be doin' the Fob!"

         7. It will be proven that President Bill Clinton was not only involved in Whitewater and illegal campaign fundraising, but was also instrumental in the creation of the Arch Deluxe.

         8. Due to the lack of viable candidates to run in the next presidential election, the Republican Party will attempt to revive the political career of Ronald Reagan. The fact that he is suffering from Altzheimer's will be considered by many to be a political plus.

         9. Microsoft head Bill Gates will consider entering politics, but will change his mind after failing to get the office of "God of Earth and Hellfire" added to the national ballot.

         10. In a move that shocks the religious world, Pope John Paul will resign the papacy and begin a successful career as a stand-up comic. He will land his own sitcom on the Fox network called, "Chico and the Pope." Jimmy Smits will play the role of Chico.

         11. Disgraced TV preachers Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggert are cast in a remake of the old sitcom, "Bosom Buddies." Jim and Jimmy play two God-fearing men living in a house filled with beautiful women. Neither role is considered a stretch.

         12. Basketball great Michael Jordan's squeaky-clean image will be tarnished this year when it's revealed that he isn't really bald.

         13. A popular internet humor columnist with the initials HLW will win fame and fortune with the publication of his book, "Men Are From Venus, Women Are From Over Yonder."

         Well, what do you know, those folks were right. I can see into the future, after all. Or maybe it was all just a dream brought on by that beer and Polish sausage sandwich I had while trancing out on Baywatch. At any rate, I hope you enjoyed this article because I was charging you $3.99 a minute.

         Hey, even a psychic's gotta eat.

         Happy New Year, everybody!