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Add You - The Power of Pause - Improving Communication By Not Communicating
If you like to plan your day the night before, you are ahead of the crowd. But for the rest of us, planning is a general thing that will simply consist of a list of items to be accomplished. The list is tackled in an importance order and interruptions take a toll of what happens. In my office, I like to get in early to out my routine in order. Unfortunately, I do not always get the quiet time as I have a colleague that also comes in early and likes to talk about what he is doing
Not all conflict is negative. Conflict, when understood as a difference of wants, needs, or expectations, can be the catalyst for new discoveries, innovative collaborations, and unique solutions to seemingly insurmountable problems.While conflict has the potential for promoting creativity and innovation, it is also a significant contributing factor to low workplace morale, employee disengagement, stress, and physical illness. Left unaddressed, conflict can have a devastating effec
In the workplace, there are times when your message needs to be crystal clear. Maybe it’s to give some important instructions, get information to make a decision, or to correct a performance problem. In these and similar cases, there is no room for 90% of the point to get lost.
On the receiving end of communication (also known as listening), we feel we have to respond to everything. Why do humans insist on filling the airwaves with more noise and call it communication? Silence is so soothing, peaceful, and necessary. In communicating at work, there are times when pausing can be more strategic than talking. I challenge to give the pause a try. Here are a few situations where it works wonders in increasing the percent of what is retained by your listener.
Stop them in their tracks.
When I was a kid, my dad didn’t have to yell or threaten a spanking to get me to settle down. He simply had to assume the “hairy eyeball” facial expression and not say a word. The though of it still gives me shivers. His intentional pause let me know (ironically, loud and clear) that he meant business. It’s brilliant! Before your next encounter where you could potential lash out or speak emotionally charged words, put on the face that says, “not now”. You’ll buy yourself some time to really think about your words and choose them wisely. Your message may be so clearly delivered you may not need words at all. Careful not to break this out too often, however, as it loses its power. I figured that out by the time I was ten or so. Appropriately timed and sporadically used, the pause and look can be a very powerful communication tool.
Get ‘em talking, and talking, and talking.
The communication process typically follows this pattern: I talk, you talk, I talk again, you talk again, and so on. The back and forth interaction allows for both parties to get heard, right? Maybe. What often happens with that verbal tennis match is a lot of talking and not much listening. We’re spending our non-talking time thinking about what we will say next, when the ball is back on our side of the court. When using the pause tactic, what naturally happens (after an initial moment of awkwardness), is that the other person will keep talk
Automobile manufacturers have automobile dealerships to sell their cars. When you walk on to a car lot to buy a car, you expect it to be full of cars of a particular make, or maybe two makes, but you have a fairly good idea of what will be available. So you are neither surprised not offended when all the cars offered to you come from one or two manufacturers.A franchise broker markets the franchises of a specific group of companies. Like a car salesperson, a franchise broker ge
On the receiving end of communication (also known as listening), we feel we have to respond to everything. Why do humans insist on filling the airwaves with more noise and call it communication? Silence is so soothing, peaceful, and necessary. In communicating at work, there are times when pausing can be more strategic than talking. I challenge to give the pause a try. Here are a few situations where it works wonders in increasing the percent of what is retained by your listener.
Stop them in their tracks.
When I was a kid, my dad didn’t have to yell or threaten a spanking to get me to settle down. He simply had to assume the “hairy eyeball” facial expression and not say a word. The though of it still gives me shivers. His intentional pause let me know (ironically, loud and clear) that he meant business. It’s brilliant! Before your next encounter where you could potential lash out or speak emotionally charged words, put on the face that says, “not now”. You’ll buy yourself some time to really think about your words and choose them wisely. Your message may be so clearly delivered you may not need words at all. Careful not to break this out too often, however, as it loses its power. I figured that out by the time I was ten or so. Appropriately timed and sporadically used, the pause and look can be a very powerful communication tool.
Get ‘em talking, and talking, and talking.
The communication process typically follows this pattern: I talk, you talk, I talk again, you talk again, and so on. The back and forth interaction allows for both parties to get heard, right? Maybe. What often happens with that verbal tennis match is a lot of talking and not much listening. We’re spending our non-talking time thinking about what we will say next, when the ball is back on our side of the court. When using the pause tactic, what naturally happens (after an initial moment of awkwardness), is that the other person will keep talk
I coach many business people who struggle with stress management in December and January that is entirely avoidable.One of my more effective clients uses this action plan to ensure he is ready for the seasonal break and can enjoy his Christmas and New Year properly.Plan aheadPredict the demand levels for this season from what happened last year. Hire temporary staff to meet your seasonal demand without adding to your long-term costs.
Stop them in their tracks.
When I was a kid, my dad didn’t have to yell or threaten a spanking to get me to settle down. He simply had to assume the “hairy eyeball” facial expression and not say a word. The though of it still gives me shivers. His intentional pause let me know (ironically, loud and clear) that he meant business. It’s brilliant! Before your next encounter where you could potential lash out or speak emotionally charged words, put on the face that says, “not now”. You’ll buy yourself some time to really think about your words and choose them wisely. Your message may be so clearly delivered you may not need words at all. Careful not to break this out too often, however, as it loses its power. I figured that out by the time I was ten or so. Appropriately timed and sporadically used, the pause and look can be a very powerful communication tool.
Get ‘em talking, and talking, and talking.
The communication process typically follows this pattern: I talk, you talk, I talk again, you talk again, and so on. The back and forth interaction allows for both parties to get heard, right? Maybe. What often happens with that verbal tennis match is a lot of talking and not much listening. We’re spending our non-talking time thinking about what we will say next, when the ball is back on our side of the court. When using the pause tactic, what naturally happens (after an initial moment of awkwardness), is that the other person will keep talk
In an information rich society, too many people are still starving their decisions of enough of the right information.INTRODUCTIONHow do you know if your decision process is well-informed or ill-informed? And even if you could detect the clues of an ill-informed decision process, would you know what to do about it? Here are some ideas for how to get more rigour into your decision process by sliding a little further away from fantasy and a little further toward fact.C
Get ‘em talking, and talking, and talking.
The communication process typically follows this pattern: I talk, you talk, I talk again, you talk again, and so on. The back and forth interaction allows for both parties to get heard, right? Maybe. What often happens with that verbal tennis match is a lot of talking and not much listening. We’re spending our non-talking time thinking about what we will say next, when the ball is back on our side of the court. When using the pause tactic, what naturally happens (after an initial moment of awkwardness), is that the other person will keep talk
You can possibly teach a turkey to climb a tree – but it is a lot easier to hire a squirrel. Quality staffing means selecting the right people with the right skills for the right jobs and at the right time. A good hire can take the weight of the world off your shoulders. A poor one can eat up your time and energy and weaken an entire team. So, why do so many leaders place so many people in so many wrong places? Here are five key reasons.Failure to prepare. When leade
Avoid “foot in mouth” or “I take it back” consequences.
So many work relationships become strained because of things that were said that shouldn’t have been said. A classic extrovert trait, referred to as “verbal vomit”, is the act of just blurting out words before thinking about them first. They just come out; no filter. It happens in a heated debate or in friendly, casual conversation. The word-vomiter is often left feeling regretful, like they stuck their foot in their mouth or they should take back what they said. As for how it makes the receiver feel…well no one likes vomit.
The pause tactic, although effective, is not natural and easy to implement. It requires a conscious decision not to talk. The best way to develop the habit of pausing more and talking less is to let people know that you’re working on your communication skills. Tell them you are actually trying to communicate with fewer words, not more. They’ll let you know when you blurted out something that was rash and unnecessary, maybe by giving you the “hairy eyeball”.
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