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Add You - Basic Principles Make You A Smarter Negotiator
We make assumptions when we don’t fully understand a situation. It is a natural reaction to immediately fill in any missing information by making up our own story. We do this because we like to try to make sense of people and situations. The problem with this is that most of the time our story is incorrect which causes all kinds of complications. The fact is, we don’t know what the truth is unless we ask.As much as we would like to think we know what others are thinking, we simply can’t read minds. Sometimes we think we have the super power to know the reasons why people do the things they do (without asking them) which is pretty presumptuous. Remember, not everyone sees the world the same way you do (shocker, I know, but it is easy to forget).Need another reason to stop making assumptions? Try turning it around, do you believe that other people can read your mind? Would you rather that someone makes up a story (an assumption) about what you are thinking and feeling? Or, would you prefer if they ask you?When you ask instead of assume, you may not always get an answer you like or expect. Still, asking is much better than making up your own story because then you are in the position to make an informed next step.Asking questions seems like an easy thing to do so why don’t we do it more often? Why do we sometimes become paralyzed when it comes time to:- Contact a client to find out why they haven’t responded to a phone call or e-mail- Ask a partner if they are satisfied with the way you work together- Ask a colleague if they still plan to make that introduction for you that they promisedIt goes something like this. Let’s say you see a prospective client at a networking event, he sees you too but when you try to approach him for a chat he leaves abruptly. That is all that happened, you don’t know why he had to leave and yet your mind starts making up a story, an assumption.You might think he doesn’t like you or that he isn’t interested in your business. That may or may not be true but why bother thinking negative thoughts when you don’t really know the reason he left.If you want to know the reason, ask! You may find out that he just went outside to put money in a parking meter, that he had a family emergency, or something else which was not rel
The Power Negotiator who understands the importance of acting dumb retains these options:
I act dumb by asking for the
Free speech is one of the building blocks of any democratic society. Without free speech we, as citizens of the democratic society, would be subject to many forms of chastisement including personal attacks and even legal ramifications.This is why I for one like the Internet. You see, to me the Internet is one of the last great representations of true free speech. We are allowed to post as we see fit whether it is a comment in a forum or a blog post which gets syndicated around the world.In fact, many sites have made their livings from allowing the general public to freely post their viewpoints, both positive and negative.Apartmentratings.com has been sued before by angry landlords or building owners. This is a site which allows renters of apartments all over the US to post comments and ratings about the buildings they live in. Of course, many people are generally happy with their apartments but some are not, and aren’t afraid to let the world know.It is these negative posts which have gotten the site in trouble in the past even though the website’s terms and conditions clearly state that the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the website owners.Now, I’ve talked to the owner of this site before and I don’t think he should be held responsible for posts made on his site. In fact, I don’t think it’s his responsibility to have to censor those who post there either.I believe the only responsibility this site has to the apartment buildings in question would be to supply information of a technical nature to them if they have the legal documentation to support their request.In other words, his only responsibility should be to supply IP addresses of those who have posted the offending remarks, and then let the apartment owner try and track down the anonymous posters. It really has nothing to do with the site in question.The reason I’m bringing this up is because another well known site is currently being sued for a similar situation.CraigsList.org is now the subject of a legal battle because of posts made to their website.Apparently, someone posted an ad for an apartment rental and explicitly asked that certain minorities not apply because, according to the person who posted the ad, these people “tend to clash with me so that won’t work out.”The way that you conduct yourself in a negotiation can dramatically the outcome. I've been teaching negotiating to business leaders throughout North America since 1982 and I've distilled this down to five essential principles. These principles are always at work for you and will help you smoothly get what you want:
Get the Other Side to Commit First
Power Negotiators know that you're usually better off if you can get the other side to commit to a position first. Several reasons are obvious:
The less you know about the other side or the proposition that you're negotiating, the more important the principle of not going first becomes. If the Beatles' manager Brian Epstein had understood this principle he could have made the Fab Four millions more on their first movie. United Artists wanted to cash in on the popularity of the singing group but was reluctant to go out on a limb because United Artists didn't know how long the Beatles would stay popular. They could have been a fleeting success that fizzled out long before their movie hit the screens. So they planned it as an inexpensively made exploitation movie and budgeted only $300,000 to make it. This was clearly not enough to pay the Beatles a high salary. So United Artists planned to offer the Beatles as much as 25 percent of the profits. The Beatles were such a worldwide sensation in 1963 that the producer was very reluctant to ask them to name their price first, but he had the courage to stay with the rule. He offered Epstein $25,000 up front and asked him what percentage of the profits he thought would be fair. Brian Epstein didn't know the movie business and should have been smart enough to play Reluctant Buyer and use Good Guy/Bad Guy. He should have said, "I don't think they'd be interested in taking the time to make a movie, but if you'll give me your very best offer, I'll take it to them and see what I can do for you with them." Instead, his ego wouldn't let him play dumb, so he assertively stated that they would have to get 7.5 percent of the profits or they wouldn't do it. This slight tactical error cost the group millions when the director Richard Lester, to every one's surprise, created a brilliantly humorous portrait of a day in the group's life that became a worldwide success.
If both sides have learned that they shouldn't go first, you can't sit there forever with both sides refusing to put a number on the table, but as a rule you should always find out what the other side wants to do first.
Act Dumb, Not Smart
To Power Negotiators, smart is dumb and dumb is smart. When you are negotiating, you're better off acting as if you know less than everybody else does, not more. The dumber you act, the better off you are unless your apparent I.Q. sinks to a point where you lack any credibility. There is a good reason for this. With a few rare exceptions, human beings tend to help people that they see as less intelligent or informed, rather than taking advantage of them. Of course there are a few ruthless people out there who will try to take advantage of weak people, but most people want to compete with people they see as brighter and help people they see as less bright. So, the reason for acting dumb is that it diffuses the competitive spirit of the other side. How can you fight with someone who is asking you to help them negotiate with you? How can you carry on any type of competitive banter with a person who says, "I don't know, what do you think?" Most people, when faced with this situation, feel sorry for the other person and go out of their way to help him or her.
Do you remember the TV show Columbo? Peter Falk played a detective who walked around in an old raincoat and a mental fog, chewing on an old cigar butt. He constantly wore an expression that suggested he had just misplaced something and couldn't remember what it was, let alone where he had left it. In fact, his success was directly attributable to how smart he was-by acting dumb. His demeanor was so disarming that the murderers came close to wanting him to solve his cases because he appeared to be so helpless.
The negotiators who let their egos take control of them and come across as a sharp, sophisticated negotiator commit to several things that work against them in a negotiation. These include being the following:
The Power Negotiator who understands the importance of acting dumb retains these options:
I act dumb by asking for the d
If you enjoy working with horses and are strong, then being a farrier just might be for you!According to the Farrier’s Act 1975, the definition of a farrier is “any work in connection with the preparation or treatment of the foot of a horse for the immediate reception of a shoe thereon, the fitting by nailing or otherwise of such a shoe to the foot or the finishing off of such work to the foot.”The craft is an ancient one, possibly practiced as long ago as during the time of the Roman Empire.To become a farrier, you must attend one of the many schools offering classes in the craft. A wise idea, although not required, is an apprenticeship after graduation. This lends itself to hands on skills while under the watchful eye of an experienced farrier.A farrier’s work consists of checking a horse’s leg, foot and hoof, cutting away any excess hoof growth and ensure that the horse is balanced. Selection of the appropriate shoe relies on the horse’s size, foot condition and whatever work or activity the horse is involved in. Next, adjust the shape of the shoe using an anvil and hammer. Then affix the shoe to the hoof.There are few considerations you should take into account if you feel this is the career path for you. You must enjoy working with horses and know how to handle them. Some horses don’t like their feet handled and can be difficult to work with. Good manual skills and hand-eye coordination are a must. You do want to hit the nail rather than your fingers! Physical strength and stamina are givens. The horses you may work with can be upwards of two tons! You’ll need to possess good communication skills so that you can work well with the horse owners, and veterinarians as well. Farriers are often self-employed and, as a result, will need to posses a few more skills. You must be willing to travel. You will be taking your business to the horse owners. This means driving to farms, ranches and private owners, all of whom many be quite a distance apart. Organizing appointments and keeping accurate records of things such as expenses, payments and other accounts is essential.Hours rely on the horse owner’s schedule. Likely, you will be working days and often, on weekends. Earnings reflect your area and how much you choose to charge. Keep in mind costs of equipment and travel expenses when
If both sides have learned that they shouldn't go first, you can't sit there forever with both sides refusing to put a number on the table, but as a rule you should always find out what the other side wants to do first.
Act Dumb, Not Smart
To Power Negotiators, smart is dumb and dumb is smart. When you are negotiating, you're better off acting as if you know less than everybody else does, not more. The dumber you act, the better off you are unless your apparent I.Q. sinks to a point where you lack any credibility. There is a good reason for this. With a few rare exceptions, human beings tend to help people that they see as less intelligent or informed, rather than taking advantage of them. Of course there are a few ruthless people out there who will try to take advantage of weak people, but most people want to compete with people they see as brighter and help people they see as less bright. So, the reason for acting dumb is that it diffuses the competitive spirit of the other side. How can you fight with someone who is asking you to help them negotiate with you? How can you carry on any type of competitive banter with a person who says, "I don't know, what do you think?" Most people, when faced with this situation, feel sorry for the other person and go out of their way to help him or her.
Do you remember the TV show Columbo? Peter Falk played a detective who walked around in an old raincoat and a mental fog, chewing on an old cigar butt. He constantly wore an expression that suggested he had just misplaced something and couldn't remember what it was, let alone where he had left it. In fact, his success was directly attributable to how smart he was-by acting dumb. His demeanor was so disarming that the murderers came close to wanting him to solve his cases because he appeared to be so helpless.
The negotiators who let their egos take control of them and come across as a sharp, sophisticated negotiator commit to several things that work against them in a negotiation. These include being the following:
The Power Negotiator who understands the importance of acting dumb retains these options:
I act dumb by asking for the
As a manager or leader you will no doubt have responsibility for undertaking staff appraisals. If you have been appraised in the past by your manager it can appear easy and it should be. So how can you make appraisals effective and powerful sources of staff motivation?PlanningPlanning is the key to effective appraisal. Make sure that:1. You schedule appraisal meetings at least two weeks before the appraisal date2. You book a room for the appraisal3. All of the pre-appraisal documentation goes out to the employee at least two weeks before the appraisal with clear instructions on how to complete it. Within this documentation include a draft agenda4. You set time in your diary to carry out the pre-meeting work5. You block out sufficient time for the appraisal in your diary. Ideally, I suggest that you block out a minimum of 2 hours for the meeting and have a gap of at least 30 minutes before the start time and your previous meeting6. Re-familiarise with any company guidelines and training materials that might existAppraisal MeetingThe key to an effective appraisal meeting is to put the appraisee at ease. One of the easiest ways of doing this is to spend a few minutes at the start chatting more generally about how things are going in life. As the appraiser is important that:1. You set the scene including being clear what the meeting is about and what it is not about2. At least 70% of the talking should be done by the appraisee not you3. You give the appraisee the opportunity to give their own self assessment of their performance before you4. You don’t interrupt them even if you don’t agree with something they are saying5. When you are giving your feedback, you are as specific as possible and ideally include examples to illustrate. For example, I notice that you are always really well prepared with all the key information for your meetings with the divisional managers6. You ensure that the appraisee is fully committed to and in agreement with objectives for the next period7. You spend time looking at the development needs and career plans8. Make sure the appraissee is clear on the next steps and timescalesAfter The Appraisal Meeting1. Produce a meeting note or completed summary
If both sides have learned that they shouldn't go first, you can't sit there forever with both sides refusing to put a number on the table, but as a rule you should always find out what the other side wants to do first.
Act Dumb, Not Smart
To Power Negotiators, smart is dumb and dumb is smart. When you are negotiating, you're better off acting as if you know less than everybody else does, not more. The dumber you act, the better off you are unless your apparent I.Q. sinks to a point where you lack any credibility. There is a good reason for this. With a few rare exceptions, human beings tend to help people that they see as less intelligent or informed, rather than taking advantage of them. Of course there are a few ruthless people out there who will try to take advantage of weak people, but most people want to compete with people they see as brighter and help people they see as less bright. So, the reason for acting dumb is that it diffuses the competitive spirit of the other side. How can you fight with someone who is asking you to help them negotiate with you? How can you carry on any type of competitive banter with a person who says, "I don't know, what do you think?" Most people, when faced with this situation, feel sorry for the other person and go out of their way to help him or her.
Do you remember the TV show Columbo? Peter Falk played a detective who walked around in an old raincoat and a mental fog, chewing on an old cigar butt. He constantly wore an expression that suggested he had just misplaced something and couldn't remember what it was, let alone where he had left it. In fact, his success was directly attributable to how smart he was-by acting dumb. His demeanor was so disarming that the murderers came close to wanting him to solve his cases because he appeared to be so helpless.
The negotiators who let their egos take control of them and come across as a sharp, sophisticated negotiator commit to several things that work against them in a negotiation. These include being the following:
The Power Negotiator who understands the importance of acting dumb retains these options:
I act dumb by asking for the
Should I use a recruiter is a common question that people ask themselves when planning their next job search.As a recruiter, I can suggest a few ways that we can help you with your job search:They can expose you to jobs that you wouldn't otherwise have known about.They should "sell" your skills and background to their clients which can help get your foot in the door when you might otherwise get ignored if you'd applied directly to the company on your own. They should help you prepare for interviews with their clients. They usually negotiate salary and compensation with their client(s) on your behalf. They can help you resign from your current employer and should assist with the transition to your new job. These are just a few ways that a good recruiter can help you.When you ask yourself "should I use a recruiter" keep in mind that the best way to use a recruiter(s) is when they supplement your job search rather than using them solely to get a new job.I feel that your best bet is to try a number of different job search methods including use of a recruiter(s) when you are looking for a new job.I suggest that finding a good recruiter(s) who understands your desired job market and is willing to help you with your search can really help speed up your job search.Remember too that using a recruiter does not cost you a cent: The hiring company pays the recruiter, not the job searcher.
Do you remember the TV show Columbo? Peter Falk played a detective who walked around in an old raincoat and a mental fog, chewing on an old cigar butt. He constantly wore an expression that suggested he had just misplaced something and couldn't remember what it was, let alone where he had left it. In fact, his success was directly attributable to how smart he was-by acting dumb. His demeanor was so disarming that the murderers came close to wanting him to solve his cases because he appeared to be so helpless.
The negotiators who let their egos take control of them and come across as a sharp, sophisticated negotiator commit to several things that work against them in a negotiation. These include being the following:
The Power Negotiator who understands the importance of acting dumb retains these options:
I act dumb by asking for the
5 tips to win over an executive head hunter or management recruiterMany job seekers find themselves overwhelmed with dread at the prospect of hunting down a new career position on their own. That's why many people hope to hang their hats on the connections of executive head hunters to do their hunting for them in their ongoing (never-ending?) quest for the ultimate trophy career.In order to convince a reliable executive head hunter, a job seeker has to plan his attack. A well connected executive recruiter will not take on just any person in a suit. You have to build a solid foundation well in advance of making contact.Just like animal-hunting needs supplies, recruiter hunting requires strategy and supplies, too. Here are five tips to successfully capture the prize – the services of an executive recruiter.Do Your HomeworkThe savvy job-seeker must be well armed with knowledge – not just about his or her interests and skills, but also in the head hunter's interests and specialties. Yes, it helps to approach a head hunter who understands your field and has built up connections, because there is very little need for chemical engineers at an accounting firm (although chemical makers have been forced to allow accountants into their sanctums, but that's another story).At the same time, an executive management recruiter has no interest in your skills, even if you have won dozens of awards for the French pastries you have created.Of course, it helps to familiarize yourself with the job market. That is the executive recruiter's job, but it is also yours.You will also get a lot further if you have assessed your own skills, not just your desired employment. If you clearly are not qualified for what you seek, you won't sell yourself to the head hunter. And if you can't sell yourself to the head hunter, he or she won't bother trying to sell you to anyone else.Identify Reputable Executive Recruiters and Head HuntersUnfortunately, in the 21st century there are a growing number of conmen and scam artists who have injected themselves in the business of executive head hunters and recruiters. Therefore, as you begin your search for a bona fide and qualified ex
The Power Negotiator who understands the importance of acting dumb retains these options:
I act dumb by asking for the definitions of words. If the other side says to me, "Roger, there are some ambiguities in this contract," I respond with, "Ambiguities . . .ambiguities . . . hmmm, you know I've heard that word before, but I'm not quite sure what it means. Would you mind explaining it to me?" Or I might say, "Do you mind going over those figures one more time? I know you've done it a couple of times already, but for some reason, I'm not getting it. Do you mind?" This makes them think: What a klutz I've got on my hands this time. In this way, I lay to rest the competitive spirit that could have made a compromise very difficult for me to accomplish. Now the other side stops fighting me and starts trying to help me.
Be careful that you're not acting dumb in your area of expertise. If you're a heart surgeon, don't say, "I'm not sure if you need a triple by-pass or if a double by-pass will do." If you're an architect, don't say, "I don't know if this building will stand up or not."
Win-win negotiating depends on the willingness of each side to be truly empathetic to the other side's position. That's not going to happen if both sides continue to compete with each other. Power Negotiators know that acting dumb diffuses that competitive spirit and opens the door to win-win solutions.
Think in Real Money Terms but Talk Funny Money
There are all kinds of ways of describing the price of something. If you went to the Boeing Aircraft Company and asked them what it costs to fly a 747 coast to coast, they wouldn't tell you "Fifty-two thousand dollars." They would tell you eleven cents per passenger mile.
Sales-people call that breaking it down to the ridiculous. Haven't we all had a real estate salesperson say to us at one time or another, "Do you realize you're talking $.35 a day here? You're not going to let $.35 a day stand between you and your dream home are you?" It probably didn't occur to you that $.35 a day over the 30-year life of a real estate mortgage is more than $7,000. Power Negotiators think in real money terms.
When that supplier tells you about a $.05 increase on an item, it may not seem important enough to spend much time on. Until you start thinking of how many of those items you buy during a year. Then you find that there's enough money sitting on the table to make it well worth your while to do some Power Negotiating.
I once dated a woman who had very expensive taste. One day she took me to a linen store in Newport Beach because she wanted us to buy a new set of sheets. They were beautiful sheets, but when I found out that they were $1,400, I was astonished and told the sales clerk that it was the kind of opulence that caused the peasants to storm the palace gates.
She calmly looked at me and said, "Sir, I don't think you understand. A fine set of sheets like this will last you at least 5 years, so you're really talking about only $280 a year." Then she whipped out a pocket calculator and frantically started punching in numbers. "That's only $5.38 a week. That's not much for what is probably the finest set of sheets in the world."
I said, "That's ridiculous."
Without cracking a smile, she said, "I'm not through. With a fine set of sheets like this, you obviously would never sleep alone, so we're really talking only 38 cents per day, per person." Now that's really breaking it down to the ridiculous.
Here are some other examples of funny money:
Businesses know that if you're not having to pull real money out of your purse or pocket, you're inclined to spend more. It's why casinos the world over have you convert your real money to gaming chips. It's why restaurants are happy to let you use a credit card although they have to pay a percentage to the credit card company. When I worked for a department store chain, we were constantly pushing our clerks to sign up customers for one of our credit cards because we knew that credit card customers will spend more and they will also buy better quality merchandise than a cash customer. Our motivation wasn't entirely financial in pushing credit cards. We also knew that because credit card customers would buy better quality merchandise, it would satisfy them more, and they would be more pleased with their purchases.
So, when you're negotiating break
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