, he or she doesn't feel at the center. Knowing that some people are, objectively, more important in some dimension than I am, I sometimes focus on objective importance, ignoring the fact that, subjectively, I am of first and foremost importance. In any effort to gain self-respect, I must consider the fact that I am at the center. It is both my right and my obligation to be at the center so that I care properly for this amazing colony of cells of which I am the leader. When I accord more importance to another person than to myself, be it a spouse or a child or anyone else, I show disrespect to myself.

Not only am I at the center, but it is impossible for existence to be otherwise. I must be at the center, and only I can be at the center. I know of life only what I know of life, from inside. I am the head of only one mind and body. I have direct access only to my consciousness and no other. Any wish I have to experience the consciousness of another person is hopeless. I can only be who I am in these few cubic feet of the universe at this time of this make-up and inheritance and upbringing and personality and character.

There is a story of two persons who were dying of thirst in a desert. One of the two had a glass of water that could save only one of them. The philosopher telling the story asks, "Should the person drink the water to save himself or herself, or should the person give the water to the other person?" The philosopher advises, "Each person has a primary obligation to his or her own life. Your life is your first responsibility. Drink the water yourself." This advice respects each

Nature/life has made each one of us unique, in looks, personality, voice, thoughts, feelings, attitudes, intentions, hopes, and memories. Nature/life has produced variety as a characteristic of being human. Not only is each person unique, but he or she cannot be otherwise. I can only be the unique person that I am. I can learn from other people, but what I learn I use in my own way. No one can feel what he or she doesn't feel or believe what he or she doesn't believe. I am exactly who I am and not the least little bit who I might wish I were. When I am attacked by envy, I can say, "No two people are the same. You are not like that [other person]. You can only be yourself." By so doing, I focus on my unique self, not on comparisons with other people.

A supermarket is a good place for studying individuality. Every person's looks, manner, and dress are very different from every other person's. The unique choices of foods that people make can easily be seen. After only a minute or two of shopping, each person can easily identify his or her own shopping cart and see how unique each other person's is. By the time a person gets to the check-out counter, the differences in choices are even greater.

Although I want to be pleasing to people, I need not try to be so to the point where I am pretending to be someone I am not. If I am not an extrovert, for example, I am not an extrovert, and I am still equal. I respect what the processes of life have provided for me. Those who want to make me something I am not (and cannot be) are at fault for being uncompassionate. They see human beings in a limited way, wanting conformists rather than individualistic persons.

I can consider how fascinating it is to be unique and different. I can take pleasure in differentiating myself from other people. I can consider learning more about my individuality - what I can do, what and whom I like, and what I want, all of it part of the enormous complexity that is I. When I look down on myself, I look down on a product of creation. In looking down on myself, I am confusing some disliked characteristic with my whole self. Taking the larger view, I can only respect this magnificence that is a human being. As Nietzsche said, "At the bottom every man knows well enough that he is a unique human being, only once on this earth, and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he is ever be put together a second time."

Since I am complex beyond even my most complex knowledge and most detailed imagination, I can take it as a challenge to let the processes of life operating in me have their way. Each of us is fortunate to have direct contact with one of the amazing creatures of the universe. We can, by being authentic, show it respect. I am in Nature/life not as someone I might be or should be but as someone I am. Life gives its blessings freely when I take it just as it comes in all its variety and richness. I do not turn away from it because of the shocking harm it does. Rather, I turn toward it, finding in it marvelous benefits along with disappointments and sorrows.

The processes of life operate continuously, in the present, presenting me with new circumstances almost minute to minute. All one's discoveries about life come as one lives them, now. Bad feelings generated in the past were possibly appropriate in a former time but are no longer appropriate. I can, with effort, learn to relegate them to the past. Once I do so, I can live creatively, dealing with what is new. When we live creatively in the present, having suffered in the past is irrelevant. I do not have to be attached to the past.

Compassionate, I realize that no one is at the center of existence. Any person has as much right to his or her own life as any other. In addition, we are responsible for living our own life.

Astronomers tell us there is no center of the universe. They say that the universe grew like cells grow, by division, so that something of the original cell is in every cell in the organism. Just as there is no original cell, there is no center. Subjectively, however, there is a center. Each person looks out on the universe from this center. Everything in the universe is counted from this center - I am a certain distance from my neighbors and a certain distance from town. Things are in front of me, on the side of me, or in back of me. Everything that occurs in the universe occurs in relationship to my position in the center. Subjectively, where I am is the center, and there is no other center. Subjectively, I am of first and foremost importance. No place is more important, no person more important.

Here at the center, I experience two kinds of reality - known reality, which is the reality within the ken of my senses, and presumed reality, which is the reality that I know about but don't currently experience. When practicing breathing or walking meditation, the person focuses on known reality, the reality he or she experiences here and now. In the words of Sherlock Holmes, the little things are infinitely the most important. Furthermore, the more significant known reality is, the less significant presumed reality becomes. When we live the life of the senses, we live primal life, which we share with all sentient creatures. It is in this condition that insight and understanding arise. Our culture does us a disservice when it elevates the life of the mind above the life of the senses.

We also live primal life when we recognize that life is continuously changing. The senses are short lived. Sight and hearing are especially short lived. When we read, for instance, the visual impressions of the words that we read change many times a second, and the same can be said when we listen to music or to someone talking to us. The mind gathers sense impressions together into meaningful wholes, but the parts are fast changing. Our tendency is to overvalue the gatherings of the mind and to undervalue the sense impressions as they occur. (The mnid clonouitunsy cteraes oedrr out of cahos. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, olny taht the frist and lsat ltteres are at the rghit pcleas. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.)

People that are easily distracted undervalue known reality and overvalue presumed reality. Although each is at the center of existence, he or she doesn't feel at the center. Knowing that some people are, objectively, more important in some dimension than I am, I sometimes focus on objective importance, ignoring the fact that, subjectively, I am of first and foremost importance. In any effort to gain self-respect, I must consider the fact that I am at the center. It is both my right and my obligation to be at the center so that I care properly for this amazing colony of cells of which I am the leader. When I accord more importance to another person than to myself, be it a spouse or a child or anyone else, I show disrespect to myself.

Not only am I at the center, but it is impossible for existence to be otherwise. I must be at the center, and only I can be at the center. I know of life only what I know of life, from inside. I am the head of only one mind and body. I have direct access only to my consciousness and no other. Any wish I have to experience the consciousness of another person is hopeless. I can only be who I am in these few cubic feet of the universe at this time of this make-up and inheritance and upbringing and personality and character.

There is a story of two persons who were dying of thirst in a desert. One of the two had a glass of water that could save only one of them. The philosopher telling the story asks, "Should the person drink the water to save himself or herself, or should the person give the water to the other person?" The philosopher advises, "Each person has a primary obligation to his or her own life. Your life is your first responsibility. Drink the water yourself." This advice respects each p

d way, wanting conformists rather than individualistic persons.

I can consider how fascinating it is to be unique and different. I can take pleasure in differentiating myself from other people. I can consider learning more about my individuality - what I can do, what and whom I like, and what I want, all of it part of the enormous complexity that is I. When I look down on myself, I look down on a product of creation. In looking down on myself, I am confusing some disliked characteristic with my whole self. Taking the larger view, I can only respect this magnificence that is a human being. As Nietzsche said, "At the bottom every man knows well enough that he is a unique human being, only once on this earth, and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he is ever be put together a second time."

Since I am complex beyond even my most complex knowledge and most detailed imagination, I can take it as a challenge to let the processes of life operating in me have their way. Each of us is fortunate to have direct contact with one of the amazing creatures of the universe. We can, by being authentic, show it respect. I am in Nature/life not as someone I might be or should be but as someone I am. Life gives its blessings freely when I take it just as it comes in all its variety and richness. I do not turn away from it because of the shocking harm it does. Rather, I turn toward it, finding in it marvelous benefits along with disappointments and sorrows.

The processes of life operate continuously, in the present, presenting me with new circumstances almost minute to minute. All one's discoveries about life come as one lives them, now. Bad feelings generated in the past were possibly appropriate in a former time but are no longer appropriate. I can, with effort, learn to relegate them to the past. Once I do so, I can live creatively, dealing with what is new. When we live creatively in the present, having suffered in the past is irrelevant. I do not have to be attached to the past.

Compassionate, I realize that no one is at the center of existence. Any person has as much right to his or her own life as any other. In addition, we are responsible for living our own life.

Astronomers tell us there is no center of the universe. They say that the universe grew like cells grow, by division, so that something of the original cell is in every cell in the organism. Just as there is no original cell, there is no center. Subjectively, however, there is a center. Each person looks out on the universe from this center. Everything in the universe is counted from this center - I am a certain distance from my neighbors and a certain distance from town. Things are in front of me, on the side of me, or in back of me. Everything that occurs in the universe occurs in relationship to my position in the center. Subjectively, where I am is the center, and there is no other center. Subjectively, I am of first and foremost importance. No place is more important, no person more important.

Here at the center, I experience two kinds of reality - known reality, which is the reality within the ken of my senses, and presumed reality, which is the reality that I know about but don't currently experience. When practicing breathing or walking meditation, the person focuses on known reality, the reality he or she experiences here and now. In the words of Sherlock Holmes, the little things are infinitely the most important. Furthermore, the more significant known reality is, the less significant presumed reality becomes. When we live the life of the senses, we live primal life, which we share with all sentient creatures. It is in this condition that insight and understanding arise. Our culture does us a disservice when it elevates the life of the mind above the life of the senses.

We also live primal life when we recognize that life is continuously changing. The senses are short lived. Sight and hearing are especially short lived. When we read, for instance, the visual impressions of the words that we read change many times a second, and the same can be said when we listen to music or to someone talking to us. The mind gathers sense impressions together into meaningful wholes, but the parts are fast changing. Our tendency is to overvalue the gatherings of the mind and to undervalue the sense impressions as they occur. (The mnid clonouitunsy cteraes oedrr out of cahos. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, olny taht the frist and lsat ltteres are at the rghit pcleas. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.)

People that are easily distracted undervalue known reality and overvalue presumed reality. Although each is at the center of existence, he or she doesn't feel at the center. Knowing that some people are, objectively, more important in some dimension than I am, I sometimes focus on objective importance, ignoring the fact that, subjectively, I am of first and foremost importance. In any effort to gain self-respect, I must consider the fact that I am at the center. It is both my right and my obligation to be at the center so that I care properly for this amazing colony of cells of which I am the leader. When I accord more importance to another person than to myself, be it a spouse or a child or anyone else, I show disrespect to myself.

Not only am I at the center, but it is impossible for existence to be otherwise. I must be at the center, and only I can be at the center. I know of life only what I know of life, from inside. I am the head of only one mind and body. I have direct access only to my consciousness and no other. Any wish I have to experience the consciousness of another person is hopeless. I can only be who I am in these few cubic feet of the universe at this time of this make-up and inheritance and upbringing and personality and character.

There is a story of two persons who were dying of thirst in a desert. One of the two had a glass of water that could save only one of them. The philosopher telling the story asks, "Should the person drink the water to save himself or herself, or should the person give the water to the other person?" The philosopher advises, "Each person has a primary obligation to his or her own life. Your life is your first responsibility. Drink the water yourself." This advice respects each

rcumstances almost minute to minute. All one's discoveries about life come as one lives them, now. Bad feelings generated in the past were possibly appropriate in a former time but are no longer appropriate. I can, with effort, learn to relegate them to the past. Once I do so, I can live creatively, dealing with what is new. When we live creatively in the present, having suffered in the past is irrelevant. I do not have to be attached to the past.

Compassionate, I realize that no one is at the center of existence. Any person has as much right to his or her own life as any other. In addition, we are responsible for living our own life.

Astronomers tell us there is no center of the universe. They say that the universe grew like cells grow, by division, so that something of the original cell is in every cell in the organism. Just as there is no original cell, there is no center. Subjectively, however, there is a center. Each person looks out on the universe from this center. Everything in the universe is counted from this center - I am a certain distance from my neighbors and a certain distance from town. Things are in front of me, on the side of me, or in back of me. Everything that occurs in the universe occurs in relationship to my position in the center. Subjectively, where I am is the center, and there is no other center. Subjectively, I am of first and foremost importance. No place is more important, no person more important.

Here at the center, I experience two kinds of reality - known reality, which is the reality within the ken of my senses, and presumed reality, which is the reality that I know about but don't currently experience. When practicing breathing or walking meditation, the person focuses on known reality, the reality he or she experiences here and now. In the words of Sherlock Holmes, the little things are infinitely the most important. Furthermore, the more significant known reality is, the less significant presumed reality becomes. When we live the life of the senses, we live primal life, which we share with all sentient creatures. It is in this condition that insight and understanding arise. Our culture does us a disservice when it elevates the life of the mind above the life of the senses.

We also live primal life when we recognize that life is continuously changing. The senses are short lived. Sight and hearing are especially short lived. When we read, for instance, the visual impressions of the words that we read change many times a second, and the same can be said when we listen to music or to someone talking to us. The mind gathers sense impressions together into meaningful wholes, but the parts are fast changing. Our tendency is to overvalue the gatherings of the mind and to undervalue the sense impressions as they occur. (The mnid clonouitunsy cteraes oedrr out of cahos. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, olny taht the frist and lsat ltteres are at the rghit pcleas. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.)

People that are easily distracted undervalue known reality and overvalue presumed reality. Although each is at the center of existence, he or she doesn't feel at the center. Knowing that some people are, objectively, more important in some dimension than I am, I sometimes focus on objective importance, ignoring the fact that, subjectively, I am of first and foremost importance. In any effort to gain self-respect, I must consider the fact that I am at the center. It is both my right and my obligation to be at the center so that I care properly for this amazing colony of cells of which I am the leader. When I accord more importance to another person than to myself, be it a spouse or a child or anyone else, I show disrespect to myself.

Not only am I at the center, but it is impossible for existence to be otherwise. I must be at the center, and only I can be at the center. I know of life only what I know of life, from inside. I am the head of only one mind and body. I have direct access only to my consciousness and no other. Any wish I have to experience the consciousness of another person is hopeless. I can only be who I am in these few cubic feet of the universe at this time of this make-up and inheritance and upbringing and personality and character.

There is a story of two persons who were dying of thirst in a desert. One of the two had a glass of water that could save only one of them. The philosopher telling the story asks, "Should the person drink the water to save himself or herself, or should the person give the water to the other person?" The philosopher advises, "Each person has a primary obligation to his or her own life. Your life is your first responsibility. Drink the water yourself." This advice respects each

eality that I know about but don't currently experience. When practicing breathing or walking meditation, the person focuses on known reality, the reality he or she experiences here and now. In the words of Sherlock Holmes, the little things are infinitely the most important. Furthermore, the more significant known reality is, the less significant presumed reality becomes. When we live the life of the senses, we live primal life, which we share with all sentient creatures. It is in this condition that insight and understanding arise. Our culture does us a disservice when it elevates the life of the mind above the life of the senses.

We also live primal life when we recognize that life is continuously changing. The senses are short lived. Sight and hearing are especially short lived. When we read, for instance, the visual impressions of the words that we read change many times a second, and the same can be said when we listen to music or to someone talking to us. The mind gathers sense impressions together into meaningful wholes, but the parts are fast changing. Our tendency is to overvalue the gatherings of the mind and to undervalue the sense impressions as they occur. (The mnid clonouitunsy cteraes oedrr out of cahos. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, olny taht the frist and lsat ltteres are at the rghit pcleas. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.)

People that are easily distracted undervalue known reality and overvalue presumed reality. Although each is at the center of existence, he or she doesn't feel at the center. Knowing that some people are, objectively, more important in some dimension than I am, I sometimes focus on objective importance, ignoring the fact that, subjectively, I am of first and foremost importance. In any effort to gain self-respect, I must consider the fact that I am at the center. It is both my right and my obligation to be at the center so that I care properly for this amazing colony of cells of which I am the leader. When I accord more importance to another person than to myself, be it a spouse or a child or anyone else, I show disrespect to myself.

Not only am I at the center, but it is impossible for existence to be otherwise. I must be at the center, and only I can be at the center. I know of life only what I know of life, from inside. I am the head of only one mind and body. I have direct access only to my consciousness and no other. Any wish I have to experience the consciousness of another person is hopeless. I can only be who I am in these few cubic feet of the universe at this time of this make-up and inheritance and upbringing and personality and character.

There is a story of two persons who were dying of thirst in a desert. One of the two had a glass of water that could save only one of them. The philosopher telling the story asks, "Should the person drink the water to save himself or herself, or should the person give the water to the other person?" The philosopher advises, "Each person has a primary obligation to his or her own life. Your life is your first responsibility. Drink the water yourself." This advice respects each

, he or she doesn't feel at the center. Knowing that some people are, objectively, more important in some dimension than I am, I sometimes focus on objective importance, ignoring the fact that, subjectively, I am of first and foremost importance. In any effort to gain self-respect, I must consider the fact that I am at the center. It is both my right and my obligation to be at the center so that I care properly for this amazing colony of cells of which I am the leader. When I accord more importance to another person than to myself, be it a spouse or a child or anyone else, I show disrespect to myself.

Not only am I at the center, but it is impossible for existence to be otherwise. I must be at the center, and only I can be at the center. I know of life only what I know of life, from inside. I am the head of only one mind and body. I have direct access only to my consciousness and no other. Any wish I have to experience the consciousness of another person is hopeless. I can only be who I am in these few cubic feet of the universe at this time of this make-up and inheritance and upbringing and personality and character.

There is a story of two persons who were dying of thirst in a desert. One of the two had a glass of water that could save only one of them. The philosopher telling the story asks, "Should the person drink the water to save himself or herself, or should the person give the water to the other person?" The philosopher advises, "Each person has a primary obligation to his or her own life. Your life is your first responsibility. Drink the water yourself." This advice respects each person's life. I am responsible for a magnificent creation. Who I think I am is only a small portion of who I really am. The colony of cells that I head is greater than I know. I am its only direct custodian.

It might be said by some that this way of thinking is selfish. Selfishness, however, shows disrespect of others. When I am selfish, I serve myself at the expense of others. When I respect myself, on the other hand, I show respect toward myself without showing disrespect toward others. If I were to sacrifice myself, I would show disrespect toward myself. In the story, the philosopher advises against self-sacrifice, but there is no disrespect shown toward the other person.

Since I am at the center of existence, my values are at the center. When troubled by the effects of being excluded, for instance, I can remind myself that I believe what I believe, regardless of cajoling, persuasion, belittling, and scorn. As a person at the center, I conform to social conventions only if I do so without self-sacrifice. When people say that I am "supposed" to do this or that, I think twice. Objective judgments do not exist. All judgments are subjective.

Knowing that I am an expression of Nature/life, I can stand up for myself. In such a case, I am standing up not for my small ego but for something larger and much more complex. Mature people are naturally interested in themselves. I take sides with myself in a dispute. I naturally protect my rights and interests. I am interested in being equal with other persons, and I promote this interest in the face of any effort to downplay me.

This natural interest in oneself is closely related to the instinct for survival. Everyone knows the instinct for physical survival. There is also an instinct for the survival of the self. I naturally like what I think and feel and want to promote it in the face of any effort to downplay it.

The natural interest in oneself can become attenuated by adverse experiences. Such attenuation is common in families. Some families treat their children as servants - the child is asked to fetch things for the mother, who sits in matriarchal ease, or is expected to be a companion to a parent. Sometimes, a parent will lean on the child, complaining to the child about the other parent or looking to the child for compliments. In such a family, the child is taught to have an interest in pleasing family members at his or her own expense. In an extreme case, the person learns to pay little attention to what he or she likes and what he or she wants. He or she becomes like a person described in Who Am I This Time? by Jay Martin (Norton): "I see myself now as a patchwork collection of defenses, tricks, illusions, with no dignity. Now, since the defenses are tumbling and we get nearer to me I get more and more concerned: there isn't a me. The sum total of me is in the illusions, and I'm afraid when we strip all these away, there won't be anything there. I'm just tricks and illusions. Maybe the fact that I speak of "I" means there is a me, but it's so small it's totally insignificant. I was born and my body grew, but I never did....It's like I died when I was a child - but that's my secret. I came back to fool everybody. Everybody thinks I'm still there - but I do it with mirrors. How deep is a reflection?"

Having an interest in oneself is having an interest in what one likes and what one wants. I see myself as unique and individual. Consequently, what I like and what I want are unique and individual. Discovering my likes and wants is a fascinating challenge. I do not assume I should or can be the same as other people. Rather, I assume I am different. I can learn from others, but what I like and what I want are personal to me. I take the broadest view of what it is to be human - I am always more than who I think I am. I am more than any group I belong to - I am more than being a Christian or Jew, black or white, gay or straight, or man or woman. What I like and want are in their overall configuration different from any stereotypes of any groups I belong to, just as anyone's basket of groceries is different from anyone else's.

When I pay attention to what I like and what I want, I discover that I am enjoying myself. Enjoying oneself is the opposite of self-sacrifice. It is enjoying one's personality. Standing on my own ground instead of on other people's, I find a balance, which is the natural state of the organism. It is like getting into a warm bed and pulling the covers over my head - I am myself in my own universe.

Self-compassion ennobles a person to the point where he or she realizes that he or she truly is wonderful. I see that I am worth defending and promoting, in spite of my failings. Seeing that I am wonderful, I can endure my imperfections, allowing them to be.

In the background are the words, "I stand up for what I believe in. I have concluded that I have a right to my opinions, and I stand by that conclusion. My self-doubting side will try to weaken me, but I defend my position."

I justify myself against prejudice, whether it is against my sex, social class, race, ethnic group, or sexual orientation. The strength of prejudice comes from the false idea that there is indeed something wrong with some characteristic, and I make a stand against buying into it. I say the words, "You are (male/female), (male/female) is OK, you are equal. You are (white/black/red/yellow), (white/black/red/yellow) is OK, you are equal. You are (straight/gay), (straight/gay) is OK, you are equal." I oppose thoughts of self-doubt that come from the victimizing side of the mind by saying, "I raise you up. You are equal. I push back and, in so doing, square off against prejudice."

I value my self-liking above anyone's dislike, in the face of every complaint, criticism, scorn, prejudice, and rejection. I remind myself, "Self-liking is not negotiable. It is paramount, above all other values. It is not available to anyone's attack." I depend on myself. I assert my values. I assert my value. I am not a straw in the wind, buffeted by others' disapproval - I stand up for myself in the face of others' disapproval. Who I really am might not be well thought of by others. However, with my understanding of the complexity of human beings and the inevitability of human imperfection, I stand up to those who think ill of me. I, in turn, have a low opinion of their prejudice.

I delib