wer. When personal responsibility is accepted, at least for part of the problem, then there becomes an opportunity to create positive change.

The following examples depict taking responsibility and asking how one contributed to the problem:

A husband asked his wife why she seemed to always

Why, in a family, do bad people, hurt good people? Although shocking, this is really the way many people think when relationships develop problems! "If I am such a nice person, why is my spouse frequently angry at me? If I am such a good parent, why is my teenage son rude and disobedient? It must be that there is something wrong with them and that is why they are hurting me." This is a very common way of thinking.

Thinking like this, "Bad things that happen to me are undeserved. I am a good person and this isn’t fair!" depicts a useless way of thinking. If a person starts out by thinking that they are perfect and without responsibility, i.e., a "good person," there is then little likelihood that they will search for how their own behaviour has helped to create a particular problem or situation. Rather, thinking that one is personally innocent, and only a victim, will lead to blaming everyone else for all personal problems and thereby precludes any opportunity to work toward a solution.

A better way of responding to something that is "bad" is by asking the question, "How have I contributed to this happening to me?" Then one can proceed to honestly and sincerely look for an answer. When personal responsibility is accepted, at least for part of the problem, then there becomes an opportunity to create positive change.

The following examples depict taking responsibility and asking how one contributed to the problem:

A husband asked his wife why she seemed to always

e that there is something wrong with them and that is why they are hurting me." This is a very common way of thinking.

Thinking like this, "Bad things that happen to me are undeserved. I am a good person and this isn’t fair!" depicts a useless way of thinking. If a person starts out by thinking that they are perfect and without responsibility, i.e., a "good person," there is then little likelihood that they will search for how their own behaviour has helped to create a particular problem or situation. Rather, thinking that one is personally innocent, and only a victim, will lead to blaming everyone else for all personal problems and thereby precludes any opportunity to work toward a solution.

A better way of responding to something that is "bad" is by asking the question, "How have I contributed to this happening to me?" Then one can proceed to honestly and sincerely look for an answer. When personal responsibility is accepted, at least for part of the problem, then there becomes an opportunity to create positive change.

The following examples depict taking responsibility and asking how one contributed to the problem:

A husband asked his wife why she seemed to always

that they are perfect and without responsibility, i.e., a "good person," there is then little likelihood that they will search for how their own behaviour has helped to create a particular problem or situation. Rather, thinking that one is personally innocent, and only a victim, will lead to blaming everyone else for all personal problems and thereby precludes any opportunity to work toward a solution.

A better way of responding to something that is "bad" is by asking the question, "How have I contributed to this happening to me?" Then one can proceed to honestly and sincerely look for an answer. When personal responsibility is accepted, at least for part of the problem, then there becomes an opportunity to create positive change.

The following examples depict taking responsibility and asking how one contributed to the problem:

A husband asked his wife why she seemed to always

veryone else for all personal problems and thereby precludes any opportunity to work toward a solution.

A better way of responding to something that is "bad" is by asking the question, "How have I contributed to this happening to me?" Then one can proceed to honestly and sincerely look for an answer. When personal responsibility is accepted, at least for part of the problem, then there becomes an opportunity to create positive change.

The following examples depict taking responsibility and asking how one contributed to the problem:

A husband asked his wife why she seemed to always

wer. When personal responsibility is accepted, at least for part of the problem, then there becomes an opportunity to create positive change.

The following examples depict taking responsibility and asking how one contributed to the problem:

A husband asked his wife why she seemed to always be angry with him. She told him that he frequently treated her harshly and she felt he "bull dozed" over her.

A father asked his son why he was rude and disobedient. He explained that he was constantly being nagged for every little thing and felt unaccepted for who he was.

A wife asked her husband why he works late every night. He told her that he was frightened by her "angry moods" and was trying to avoid her.

A mother asked her five-year-old daughter why she continually tried to avoid doing homework. The little girl said she felt Astupid.@ Mom asked her what made her feel that way. The girl explained because she was the "slowest" reader in the class.

By asking the question correctly, "What is my part in this problem," you can get an answer that is useful. The answer to this question can lead to appropriate action that can be part of a solution.

For example, the above questions, with regards to one=s personal responsibility for the problem, can lead to the following solutions:

The husband learned to be gentle and sensitive to his wife.

The father learned to give his son more autonomy.

The wife learned how to control her anger.

The girl