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Add You - Ten Tips for Coping with People Who Go Silent
All mortgages tend to fall into one or two basic categories - they are either a fixed rate mortgage or an adjustable rate mortgage. Among these two categories, however, there are many different options that allow you to get a mortgage that suits your personal needs. Here are some of the advantages of these two basic types that you need to know if you are considering buying a house.A fixed rate mortgage gives you the predi
6. Provide options of 3 possibilities:
Provide different options of help. "Would you like me to leave you in peace, bring you a cup of tea or give you a hug?" This is different from saying, "Here have a cup of tea". Don't trap them into accepting something. Gentle suggestions can help them to respond.
7. If th
What was becoming a major crisis is now over, as Veterans Administration gets the Laptop back, which had Personal Information on it of over 26 million veterans. Luckily the stolen laptop was recovered, but may I ask why the government has this information in the first place on portable laptops?And it is not just the Veterans Administration it is all sorts of other agencies too. Identity Theft is running ramped and the gov
Silence can occur when a person does not feel it is safe to speak out. Create an environment that invites participation and in which people feel comfortable to talk. An environment where people can talk, be listened to and understood - free of judgement, accusation, blame, belittling, derision or sarcasm. This may reduce the times they need to go silent.
2. Prevent silence by LISTENING and not jumping in:
Pause before responding and then respond by feeding back what you have understood. Listen rather than offering advice, solving the problem for them, intellectualising, ridiculing, disagreeing, pacifying, relating similar stories ... and so on. Simply be there with them. This will make it feel safer so silence is not necessary.
3. When you are getting along talk about what happens:
When you are getting along talk about the silences that occur. Work out two strategies. Firstly, what you can do to help to stop silence from happening and secondly, ways that help dissolve silence when it does happen.
4. When someone is silent gently comment on what you've noticed:
Gently mention the silence. Without judgement or complaint comment on what you've noticed. For example, "I've noticed you are quiet at the moment, how are you feeling?" rather than a challenging question, "So what's wrong with you?"
5. Ask: "how can I help", or "what do you need?"
Don't assume you know what silent people need, ask them. Ask the person how you can help or what he or she needs. For example, don't automatically assume they want an arm around their shoulders, or a cup of tea or to talk about it. Don't give advice or solve their problems unless you know that is what they want.
6. Provide options of 3 possibilities:
Provide different options of help. "Would you like me to leave you in peace, bring you a cup of tea or give you a hug?" This is different from saying, "Here have a cup of tea". Don't trap them into accepting something. Gentle suggestions can help them to respond.
7. If the
For many online visitors it is no secret that the small ads they encounter are Pay Per Click (PPC) advertising. It is estimated that only 20% of site visitors will actually click on these ads.The good news is these ads are targeted and should be viewed by those who actually have an interest in the product or service you provide.The basic premise of PPC advertising is to allow you to bid on keywords that are directl
Pause before responding and then respond by feeding back what you have understood. Listen rather than offering advice, solving the problem for them, intellectualising, ridiculing, disagreeing, pacifying, relating similar stories ... and so on. Simply be there with them. This will make it feel safer so silence is not necessary.
3. When you are getting along talk about what happens:
When you are getting along talk about the silences that occur. Work out two strategies. Firstly, what you can do to help to stop silence from happening and secondly, ways that help dissolve silence when it does happen.
4. When someone is silent gently comment on what you've noticed:
Gently mention the silence. Without judgement or complaint comment on what you've noticed. For example, "I've noticed you are quiet at the moment, how are you feeling?" rather than a challenging question, "So what's wrong with you?"
5. Ask: "how can I help", or "what do you need?"
Don't assume you know what silent people need, ask them. Ask the person how you can help or what he or she needs. For example, don't automatically assume they want an arm around their shoulders, or a cup of tea or to talk about it. Don't give advice or solve their problems unless you know that is what they want.
6. Provide options of 3 possibilities:
Provide different options of help. "Would you like me to leave you in peace, bring you a cup of tea or give you a hug?" This is different from saying, "Here have a cup of tea". Don't trap them into accepting something. Gentle suggestions can help them to respond.
7. If th
Well it saddens me that this series is coming to an end. This will be the last excerpt of my goals series. For those of you who have followed the series will know by now that I do affiliate marketing on line and each and every one of these goals have been used at one time or another for some part of my program. However the regular readers will know that I wrote this series for everyone. Most of these goals can be applied int
When you are getting along talk about the silences that occur. Work out two strategies. Firstly, what you can do to help to stop silence from happening and secondly, ways that help dissolve silence when it does happen.
4. When someone is silent gently comment on what you've noticed:
Gently mention the silence. Without judgement or complaint comment on what you've noticed. For example, "I've noticed you are quiet at the moment, how are you feeling?" rather than a challenging question, "So what's wrong with you?"
5. Ask: "how can I help", or "what do you need?"
Don't assume you know what silent people need, ask them. Ask the person how you can help or what he or she needs. For example, don't automatically assume they want an arm around their shoulders, or a cup of tea or to talk about it. Don't give advice or solve their problems unless you know that is what they want.
6. Provide options of 3 possibilities:
Provide different options of help. "Would you like me to leave you in peace, bring you a cup of tea or give you a hug?" This is different from saying, "Here have a cup of tea". Don't trap them into accepting something. Gentle suggestions can help them to respond.
7. If th
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5. Ask: "how can I help", or "what do you need?"
Don't assume you know what silent people need, ask them. Ask the person how you can help or what he or she needs. For example, don't automatically assume they want an arm around their shoulders, or a cup of tea or to talk about it. Don't give advice or solve their problems unless you know that is what they want.
6. Provide options of 3 possibilities:
Provide different options of help. "Would you like me to leave you in peace, bring you a cup of tea or give you a hug?" This is different from saying, "Here have a cup of tea". Don't trap them into accepting something. Gentle suggestions can help them to respond.
7. If th
Did you know that you could make sure to get the best rates on your auto and homeowners insurance simply by having a good credit score.Additionally a great credit score will allow you to get the best interest rates on your credit cards, car loans and even your home mortgage. With interest rates as low and as favorable as they current are why shouldn’t you take advantage of them?What to do – Probably the most import
6. Provide options of 3 possibilities:
Provide different options of help. "Would you like me to leave you in peace, bring you a cup of tea or give you a hug?" This is different from saying, "Here have a cup of tea". Don't trap them into accepting something. Gentle suggestions can help them to respond.
7. If the person says something, ACCEPT it:
Accept what the person says. Don't judge. Don't tell them what to do. Don't tell them to stop feeling like that. Don't tell them they need to change. Don't fire questions at them and don't argue. For example, if they say, "I'm so worried about Billy" say, "so Billy being sick is getting you down?" or "Billy being sick is worrying". This is instead of more judgemental responses, such as, "You know he is going to be alright", "Silly thing", "You should go and ask the Doctor how he is", "Oh, is that all", or "Why on earth are you worried about him?"
8. Go Slowly:
Go slowly and gently. Allow quiet between you, pause before responding, reflect. Go closer in stages, not all at once.
9. Speak Gently:
Speak with a softened, pleasant tone of voice, and a clear voice, with an easy rate of speech. Don't speak in a harsh, tense, whiny or fast way. Sound quiet, calm and patient.
10. Don't push for a response:
Don't hound them for an explanation; if you do they may retreat even more. Be sympathetic. In a kindly, understanding, easy way be on their side and be interested in what is going on. Demonstrate an attitude of wanting to listen to them. Put aside your own issues for now.
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