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Add You - 7 Secrets to Staying Positive in the Face of Negativity
"What do I do now?"Craig looked plaintively across the desk at me. He'd come to me for help adapting to his new role as a manager. He was having a lot of trouble.Craig had thought he wanted to be a manager. He'd supported himself through college by running heavy machinery in the construction industry. He was a hard worker.When he was hired by the company that made some of the equipment he used to run, Craig was ecstatic. He liked the people in the construction industry and he thought his new employer was as fine a company as there was.Craig was hired as a sales trainee, but his goals were something else. He wanted to be an executive and climb the corporate ladder. He started out by turning himself into a great salesp
Looking for work is an energy-devouring ordeal, often leading to running in circles and not getting anywhere. A systematic approach can help you focus on your goal, avoid wasting the energy you need to conserve for interviews and employer contacts, and lower your stress level.Some resources you might find helpful include:1. Newspaper classified. Pro: you know that an opening does exist or a company wouldn't spend money to advertise. Con: there may be thousands of applicants for one position. Value depends upon the kind of work you are looking for and the uniqueness of your skills and experience. Certainly worth a weekend check but cannot be exclusively relied upon unless you have your heart set on a telemarketing position.2. Regi
Do Not Argue with Negativity
When you are dealing with a negative person, the worst thing you can do is argue with him. This only adds fuel to the fire. A negative person will feed off any negativity that will reinforce his mood or attitude. I have noticed when my children are in a cranky mood, it is best to avoid trying to convince them that their attitude needs adjustment. As soon as I take the approach of being in opposition with them, they pounce on the opportunity to ensure me that life stinks. Their negativity escalates and the situation gets worse before it gets better. Know when to remain silent and let the negativity pass.
Flood Negativity with Love
A negative person often needs love and attention. The irony of the situation is that a negative person is difficult to love. It is our challenge to rise above the negative behavior and love the injured and often fearful person that is deep inside. How can you show love when someone is negative? You must listen to what she is telling you. Acknowledge the feelings she has by saying something like, "It sounds like you are very upset with your boss". Even if you don't quite understand the person's feelings, know that your reality is different than someone else's. Ask how you might help the negative person. This shows a genuine concern for his happiness. Offer a hug even if you get rejected. Remember not to take a rejection of your love personally. A negative person often has difficulty receiving love from others.
Look for the Positive
There is always gold to be found in any negative situation. Pretend you are on a treasure hunt and search for anything positive you can highlight. Even a negative person has positive qualities. When a person is drowning in negativity, it can be difficult to see the light. So often my clients share the negative things about themselves, only for me to counter with something positive. I admit that sometimes a negative person doesn't want to see the positive. This might require her to shift her perspective. Negativity can become a person's best friend and no one wants to willingly give up their best friend. Be patient and gently remind your grumpy friend or family member to look for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Hopefully, in her
Imagine you have two empty glass vases.One has a rock inside it. The other has a tennis ball inside it.We slowly start pouring water into the vases.The RockInitially the rock is singing away quite merrily, thinking “Aah… this is lovely. The water is pouring in nice and slowly. This is great. I wish I had some more water, but with time more water will come”… and so the water continues pouring in.At some point the water level rises to just under the rock’s nose. And it is starting to worry a bit. Perhaps there is now too much water for it to cope with? It starts scrambling around a bit.Before it knows what has happened, its head is completely under water. “Help. Help me. I’m drowning… I can’t co
Flood Negativity with Love
A negative person often needs love and attention. The irony of the situation is that a negative person is difficult to love. It is our challenge to rise above the negative behavior and love the injured and often fearful person that is deep inside. How can you show love when someone is negative? You must listen to what she is telling you. Acknowledge the feelings she has by saying something like, "It sounds like you are very upset with your boss". Even if you don't quite understand the person's feelings, know that your reality is different than someone else's. Ask how you might help the negative person. This shows a genuine concern for his happiness. Offer a hug even if you get rejected. Remember not to take a rejection of your love personally. A negative person often has difficulty receiving love from others.
Look for the Positive
There is always gold to be found in any negative situation. Pretend you are on a treasure hunt and search for anything positive you can highlight. Even a negative person has positive qualities. When a person is drowning in negativity, it can be difficult to see the light. So often my clients share the negative things about themselves, only for me to counter with something positive. I admit that sometimes a negative person doesn't want to see the positive. This might require her to shift her perspective. Negativity can become a person's best friend and no one wants to willingly give up their best friend. Be patient and gently remind your grumpy friend or family member to look for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Hopefully, in her
In time, sex with the same perrson inevitably loses some of its wild excitement, which should be expected and accepted, not taken as a sign of any loss of love. In long-term relationships, the emphasis gradually shifts to familiarity and ease with each other. Intense sexual excitement is then gradually replaced by comfort and security, affection and touching. Many people often get ‘performance anxiety’ trying to push themselves to achieve multiple climaxes, or the simultaneous orgasms they used to have when they were younger. Then they become disappointed and feel inadequate when it doesn’t happen. But worry and anxiety are not a part of enjoyable sex. It becomes a chore then, something to be avoided.Anxieties and distractions are actually int
Flood Negativity with Love
A negative person often needs love and attention. The irony of the situation is that a negative person is difficult to love. It is our challenge to rise above the negative behavior and love the injured and often fearful person that is deep inside. How can you show love when someone is negative? You must listen to what she is telling you. Acknowledge the feelings she has by saying something like, "It sounds like you are very upset with your boss". Even if you don't quite understand the person's feelings, know that your reality is different than someone else's. Ask how you might help the negative person. This shows a genuine concern for his happiness. Offer a hug even if you get rejected. Remember not to take a rejection of your love personally. A negative person often has difficulty receiving love from others.
Look for the Positive
There is always gold to be found in any negative situation. Pretend you are on a treasure hunt and search for anything positive you can highlight. Even a negative person has positive qualities. When a person is drowning in negativity, it can be difficult to see the light. So often my clients share the negative things about themselves, only for me to counter with something positive. I admit that sometimes a negative person doesn't want to see the positive. This might require her to shift her perspective. Negativity can become a person's best friend and no one wants to willingly give up their best friend. Be patient and gently remind your grumpy friend or family member to look for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Hopefully, in her
Unlike traditional residential real estate mortgages, real estate investment financing is way more creative and offers more options than you think. The golden rule in real estate investment is OPM (Other People’s Money).I have enough money; shouldn’t I buy my real estate investment for cash? No, I absolutely advice against investing large sums of cash into a single real estate investment. There are two reasons why not. First, you give away most of your profits by not leveraging your real estate investment. Second, it is far too risky to put every egg into one basket.Let me explain the leverage issue for a moment. I will give you an example of a $100,000 investment property that typically increases its value (appreciates) by 7% average a
Look for the Positive
There is always gold to be found in any negative situation. Pretend you are on a treasure hunt and search for anything positive you can highlight. Even a negative person has positive qualities. When a person is drowning in negativity, it can be difficult to see the light. So often my clients share the negative things about themselves, only for me to counter with something positive. I admit that sometimes a negative person doesn't want to see the positive. This might require her to shift her perspective. Negativity can become a person's best friend and no one wants to willingly give up their best friend. Be patient and gently remind your grumpy friend or family member to look for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Hopefully, in her
One of the greatest decisions and largest risks of a person or organizations life is starting a business. The next big decision? Whether or not to go franchise. A franchise business is one which is basically a duplicate of a previous business. The business owner rents the franchise logo and way of running the business. Examples of franchise businesses include McDonald's, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, etc. But what are the pros and cons of starting a franchise business, and what does the law say about the subject.The pros of opening a franchise business are numerous. First of all, there is a lower risk of failure. This is often due to name recognition and the standard that is set by previous businesses. For example, most diners know what to expect when
Ask Negative People to Be Specific
If you pay close attention, you'll notice negative people often speak in generalizations. You may hear them say things like: "Men are jerks." "It's wrong to be on welfare." "My job is making me miserable." These kinds of statements are referred to as cognitive distortions. To help a person sort through her distorted thinking, ask for more specifics. Questions like "Which men are jerks?" or "What specifically about your job is making you miserable?" forces a person to evaluate what he or she is really trying to say. A negative person will either give up because it takes too much effort to explain himself, or he or she will get to the bottom of the issue.
Detach and Let Go of Trying to Change the Negative Person
The more you try to change a negative person, the more he or she will fight to remain negative. Detach from the emotion and let the negative person be negative. You can even try a little reverse psychology and agree with everything she says. I once read a great article about a mother who was exasperated with her son's negative mood. Everything she tried to soothe him and make him feel better backfired. She finally gave up and started agreeing with everything he said. When her son told her he had no friends, she agreed with him. When he complained that his teacher was stupid, she couldn't agree more. After several minutes of this kind of dialogue with her son, his mood suddenly shifted. He declared that he was tired and he went to bed with a smile on his face.
Avoid the Negative Person
I agree that some people are so chronically negative that you have no other choice but to avoid them. If you have negative people in your life that are critically affecting your mental and physical health, you need to evaluate whether or not you want these people in your life. There are certain people like a boss, friend or co-worker that you can remove from your life or at least avoid for long periods of time. Other people, such as children and spouses, may require professional intervention if their negativity is affecting your life. Reinforce very strong boun
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