To fall asleep is to fall in love. That is why sex happens so often at night, it puts you in the mood for sleep because it can, or should at least, put you in the mood for love. So when we talk about insomnia, or lack of sleep, poor preparation for sleep, or a person who stays up because they don’t want to go to bed, the real reason is they just don’t feel lovable, and therefore can’t find stillness.

So, there’s the first of the three simple steps to long life vitality. Find stillness. Finding stillness requires that you learn the art of “Stepping away” Stepping away means being nothing. Just being nothing. It means walking for no reason. Kissing for no reason. It means sitting under a tree for no reason. Reasonlessness… if that is a word.

It’s getting harder and harder to leave without reason. Everything is reasonable. Reason is what children are taught is behind everything. Reason for this and a reason for that. “Why did you do that?” – “I don’t know” – “oh, come on, there must be a reason” When we always answer our children’s questions of “WHY?” with a reason, they loose the essence of reasonlessness. Just the art of being nothing, not being.

Children who can’t sleep are children with only reasons. There is no reason to fall asleep, we don’t need one. It is just time to surrender, and be ourselves. If we are taught always to be someone, do someone, act someone or become someone then sleep is hard to achieve, because in bed, no matter where we are, we are with ourselves. We are us. Reasonlessly.

Nature is the greatest teacher of stillness. If we go outside

Sleep deprivation affects over 50% of the western world. Its effect is devastating. Changing mood, concentration, happiness, health, vitality and emotional balance. Sleep deprivation is a hidden gremlin that lurks behind so many of our day to day problems. Depression, exhaustion, anger, frustration, laziness, mental fatigue, poor decision making, anxiety, fear, relationship breakdown, impotence, sexual performance drop, abuse, violence, alcohol addiction and obesity.

Sleep deprivation affects over 50% of the people you know, and yet, they will say their problems are not associated with poor sleep or the lack of it. 50% of your friends will be visiting chiropractors, health food shops, health farms, yoga classes, exercise programs, beauticians, doctors and taking “magic herbs” to deal with issues that at their root, come from sleep deprivation.

How long we need for sleep is an individual thing. Some people are able to get away with 4 hours a night, others, like me, need a solid 8 hour sleep to manage a healthy life sustainably. Some need more. My old friend Athena Starwoman (RIP) used to sleep 18 hours a day, and wake up ready to do her astrology charts. She said she worked best in her sleep.

The social circumstances surrounding our increasing sleep deprivation are:

a. Computers and telephones stimulate the nervous system upsetting bodyrythms.

b. Television keeps us awake and stimulated when we should be getting ready for sleep

c. Higher than normal levels of mental complexity (we are stuck in our head all day)

d. Low physical demands – we are not physically tired at night, so urge to sleep not high

e. We are dehydrated and we eat too much too late of an evening

f. Tea, coffee and sugar lasts 4-5 hours to falsely stimulate blood pressure (keeps awake)

g. We have lost the art of the bedroom ritual.

h. All night dance parties are becoming popular (it takes a week to recover from that)

These are the reasons we don’t sleep as much as we need to. But more important than the hours of sleep, is the quality. So much research has been done on the quality of sleep, and the effect of sleep that is not deep. The results are astonishing. 12 hours of poor sleep is not even equivalent to 2 hours of deep REM sleep. This explains why some people only need a few hours sleep and others need more. The quality of the sleep makes the difference.

Sleep quality is affected by many things. To maximize the quality of your sleep consider the following.

1. Create two beds side by side, one for you and one for them. The beds can be joined but because temperature affects sleep more than any other single thing, try to manage your own heat (bed clothes and blankets) independently. Women typically need 10 degrees more heat to sleep comfortably at night than men.

2. Be light. Don’t eat or drink within 2 hours of going sleep. Preferably 3. This is the cause of many people staying up late. They eat late and can’t sleep. So they stay up and watch TV and then eat because they can’t sleep. Etc

3. Sleep ritual. A healthy person takes between 15 and 20 minutes to fall asleep at night once they are in bed. Faster than that reveals over tired. Longer than that reveals hyperactive mind. Hyperactive minds come from working near bedtime, watching TV near bedtime, and worst of all, being exposed to computer screens within an hour of going to bed. Bed ritual means the journey to sleep is a half hour gradual slow down with minimal talk and some personal ritual.

4. Slow down, enjoy the peace. Reading, watching TV in bed and talking too much before bed (especially on the phone) causes sleep quality to drop below the threshold of 50% value (need twice as much)

5. Do physical exercise. You body must want rest. Food fed to your body turns to fat if you don’t use it. Fat keeps you awake at night because it wants to burn. There must be at least a 40 minute exercise session in which your heart rate is above 60-70% MHR.

6. Cool your Mind. A person who is not looking forward to tomorrow is in resentment. A person who is hyperventilating about tomorrow is in infatuation. Both are hyper and this causes the heat in the mind and blood that keeps people awake, or out of depth of sleep. The best thing to do before you go to lie in bed is prepare a list of tomorrow. If it is so exciting that you are wishing it would come now, then think of some negatives that will come tomorrow. If you are resenting tomorrow, think of the good news, or change the plan.

7. Lie on your back. It takes 6 weeks to develop the habit of sleeping on your back, but it improves the quality of your sleep by affecting your breathing, body relaxation and more. Use the right height pillow and don’t cross your legs. (of course if you snore then ………)

8. Create the Thank you Attitude. Sleep is such a potent part of our lives. It deserves the same effort as work and love and health. We sleep for 30% of our existence on this earth. Why not make it amazing? To do so, I suggest the appreciation ritual, alone or with lover.

The appreciation ritual is the process of going over the past 24 hours and mentally, or quietly with partner, listing everything you can be thankful for, for that whole period. Then add the whole week, the year and finally your life. If you do this in bed, you’ll sleep more than most and better.

Dealing with cause – The first step in maintaining vitality of life/.

These recommendations are very important. They really help your quality of sleep but they really come naturally to us when we understand the gift of stillness. The person who does not like their own company will not sleep well. Guilt, shame, anger, victim hood and more emotions make it hard to be alone with yourself. So good sleep is one of the best rewards for a good life, a real life.

Stillness is the art of enjoying your own company. Without proving, doing, achieving or wanting, without not wanting or not proving, being real, being yourself. Just stillness. The art of just lying there in bed, together with your lover or alone, in stillness, is a magnificent gift. One that we all have, naturally, if we live in an authentic way.

Being yourself? Who is that? Which self? This is the deepest question you can ask. Which self you want to be. The smaller you define self – i.e. the more accurately you define self, the more ego you have. To say “I am nothing” for example, is the height of egotism. To say “I am everything” is even greater egoism. These definitions of yourself just promote drama and subsequent sleeplessness.

How can you sleep deep when you are being someone. If there is a sense of self, that means you are stuck in your ego, unable to surrender. Sleepless people are stuck in their ego. They might say they are “godly” but really, they don’t understand the difference between emotion and love.

To fall asleep is to fall in love. That is why sex happens so often at night, it puts you in the mood for sleep because it can, or should at least, put you in the mood for love. So when we talk about insomnia, or lack of sleep, poor preparation for sleep, or a person who stays up because they don’t want to go to bed, the real reason is they just don’t feel lovable, and therefore can’t find stillness.

So, there’s the first of the three simple steps to long life vitality. Find stillness. Finding stillness requires that you learn the art of “Stepping away” Stepping away means being nothing. Just being nothing. It means walking for no reason. Kissing for no reason. It means sitting under a tree for no reason. Reasonlessness… if that is a word.

It’s getting harder and harder to leave without reason. Everything is reasonable. Reason is what children are taught is behind everything. Reason for this and a reason for that. “Why did you do that?” – “I don’t know” – “oh, come on, there must be a reason” When we always answer our children’s questions of “WHY?” with a reason, they loose the essence of reasonlessness. Just the art of being nothing, not being.

Children who can’t sleep are children with only reasons. There is no reason to fall asleep, we don’t need one. It is just time to surrender, and be ourselves. If we are taught always to be someone, do someone, act someone or become someone then sleep is hard to achieve, because in bed, no matter where we are, we are with ourselves. We are us. Reasonlessly.

Nature is the greatest teacher of stillness. If we go outside

e. We are dehydrated and we eat too much too late of an evening

f. Tea, coffee and sugar lasts 4-5 hours to falsely stimulate blood pressure (keeps awake)

g. We have lost the art of the bedroom ritual.

h. All night dance parties are becoming popular (it takes a week to recover from that)

These are the reasons we don’t sleep as much as we need to. But more important than the hours of sleep, is the quality. So much research has been done on the quality of sleep, and the effect of sleep that is not deep. The results are astonishing. 12 hours of poor sleep is not even equivalent to 2 hours of deep REM sleep. This explains why some people only need a few hours sleep and others need more. The quality of the sleep makes the difference.

Sleep quality is affected by many things. To maximize the quality of your sleep consider the following.

1. Create two beds side by side, one for you and one for them. The beds can be joined but because temperature affects sleep more than any other single thing, try to manage your own heat (bed clothes and blankets) independently. Women typically need 10 degrees more heat to sleep comfortably at night than men.

2. Be light. Don’t eat or drink within 2 hours of going sleep. Preferably 3. This is the cause of many people staying up late. They eat late and can’t sleep. So they stay up and watch TV and then eat because they can’t sleep. Etc

3. Sleep ritual. A healthy person takes between 15 and 20 minutes to fall asleep at night once they are in bed. Faster than that reveals over tired. Longer than that reveals hyperactive mind. Hyperactive minds come from working near bedtime, watching TV near bedtime, and worst of all, being exposed to computer screens within an hour of going to bed. Bed ritual means the journey to sleep is a half hour gradual slow down with minimal talk and some personal ritual.

4. Slow down, enjoy the peace. Reading, watching TV in bed and talking too much before bed (especially on the phone) causes sleep quality to drop below the threshold of 50% value (need twice as much)

5. Do physical exercise. You body must want rest. Food fed to your body turns to fat if you don’t use it. Fat keeps you awake at night because it wants to burn. There must be at least a 40 minute exercise session in which your heart rate is above 60-70% MHR.

6. Cool your Mind. A person who is not looking forward to tomorrow is in resentment. A person who is hyperventilating about tomorrow is in infatuation. Both are hyper and this causes the heat in the mind and blood that keeps people awake, or out of depth of sleep. The best thing to do before you go to lie in bed is prepare a list of tomorrow. If it is so exciting that you are wishing it would come now, then think of some negatives that will come tomorrow. If you are resenting tomorrow, think of the good news, or change the plan.

7. Lie on your back. It takes 6 weeks to develop the habit of sleeping on your back, but it improves the quality of your sleep by affecting your breathing, body relaxation and more. Use the right height pillow and don’t cross your legs. (of course if you snore then ………)

8. Create the Thank you Attitude. Sleep is such a potent part of our lives. It deserves the same effort as work and love and health. We sleep for 30% of our existence on this earth. Why not make it amazing? To do so, I suggest the appreciation ritual, alone or with lover.

The appreciation ritual is the process of going over the past 24 hours and mentally, or quietly with partner, listing everything you can be thankful for, for that whole period. Then add the whole week, the year and finally your life. If you do this in bed, you’ll sleep more than most and better.

Dealing with cause – The first step in maintaining vitality of life/.

These recommendations are very important. They really help your quality of sleep but they really come naturally to us when we understand the gift of stillness. The person who does not like their own company will not sleep well. Guilt, shame, anger, victim hood and more emotions make it hard to be alone with yourself. So good sleep is one of the best rewards for a good life, a real life.

Stillness is the art of enjoying your own company. Without proving, doing, achieving or wanting, without not wanting or not proving, being real, being yourself. Just stillness. The art of just lying there in bed, together with your lover or alone, in stillness, is a magnificent gift. One that we all have, naturally, if we live in an authentic way.

Being yourself? Who is that? Which self? This is the deepest question you can ask. Which self you want to be. The smaller you define self – i.e. the more accurately you define self, the more ego you have. To say “I am nothing” for example, is the height of egotism. To say “I am everything” is even greater egoism. These definitions of yourself just promote drama and subsequent sleeplessness.

How can you sleep deep when you are being someone. If there is a sense of self, that means you are stuck in your ego, unable to surrender. Sleepless people are stuck in their ego. They might say they are “godly” but really, they don’t understand the difference between emotion and love.

To fall asleep is to fall in love. That is why sex happens so often at night, it puts you in the mood for sleep because it can, or should at least, put you in the mood for love. So when we talk about insomnia, or lack of sleep, poor preparation for sleep, or a person who stays up because they don’t want to go to bed, the real reason is they just don’t feel lovable, and therefore can’t find stillness.

So, there’s the first of the three simple steps to long life vitality. Find stillness. Finding stillness requires that you learn the art of “Stepping away” Stepping away means being nothing. Just being nothing. It means walking for no reason. Kissing for no reason. It means sitting under a tree for no reason. Reasonlessness… if that is a word.

It’s getting harder and harder to leave without reason. Everything is reasonable. Reason is what children are taught is behind everything. Reason for this and a reason for that. “Why did you do that?” – “I don’t know” – “oh, come on, there must be a reason” When we always answer our children’s questions of “WHY?” with a reason, they loose the essence of reasonlessness. Just the art of being nothing, not being.

Children who can’t sleep are children with only reasons. There is no reason to fall asleep, we don’t need one. It is just time to surrender, and be ourselves. If we are taught always to be someone, do someone, act someone or become someone then sleep is hard to achieve, because in bed, no matter where we are, we are with ourselves. We are us. Reasonlessly.

Nature is the greatest teacher of stillness. If we go outside

4. Slow down, enjoy the peace. Reading, watching TV in bed and talking too much before bed (especially on the phone) causes sleep quality to drop below the threshold of 50% value (need twice as much)

5. Do physical exercise. You body must want rest. Food fed to your body turns to fat if you don’t use it. Fat keeps you awake at night because it wants to burn. There must be at least a 40 minute exercise session in which your heart rate is above 60-70% MHR.

6. Cool your Mind. A person who is not looking forward to tomorrow is in resentment. A person who is hyperventilating about tomorrow is in infatuation. Both are hyper and this causes the heat in the mind and blood that keeps people awake, or out of depth of sleep. The best thing to do before you go to lie in bed is prepare a list of tomorrow. If it is so exciting that you are wishing it would come now, then think of some negatives that will come tomorrow. If you are resenting tomorrow, think of the good news, or change the plan.

7. Lie on your back. It takes 6 weeks to develop the habit of sleeping on your back, but it improves the quality of your sleep by affecting your breathing, body relaxation and more. Use the right height pillow and don’t cross your legs. (of course if you snore then ………)

8. Create the Thank you Attitude. Sleep is such a potent part of our lives. It deserves the same effort as work and love and health. We sleep for 30% of our existence on this earth. Why not make it amazing? To do so, I suggest the appreciation ritual, alone or with lover.

The appreciation ritual is the process of going over the past 24 hours and mentally, or quietly with partner, listing everything you can be thankful for, for that whole period. Then add the whole week, the year and finally your life. If you do this in bed, you’ll sleep more than most and better.

Dealing with cause – The first step in maintaining vitality of life/.

These recommendations are very important. They really help your quality of sleep but they really come naturally to us when we understand the gift of stillness. The person who does not like their own company will not sleep well. Guilt, shame, anger, victim hood and more emotions make it hard to be alone with yourself. So good sleep is one of the best rewards for a good life, a real life.

Stillness is the art of enjoying your own company. Without proving, doing, achieving or wanting, without not wanting or not proving, being real, being yourself. Just stillness. The art of just lying there in bed, together with your lover or alone, in stillness, is a magnificent gift. One that we all have, naturally, if we live in an authentic way.

Being yourself? Who is that? Which self? This is the deepest question you can ask. Which self you want to be. The smaller you define self – i.e. the more accurately you define self, the more ego you have. To say “I am nothing” for example, is the height of egotism. To say “I am everything” is even greater egoism. These definitions of yourself just promote drama and subsequent sleeplessness.

How can you sleep deep when you are being someone. If there is a sense of self, that means you are stuck in your ego, unable to surrender. Sleepless people are stuck in their ego. They might say they are “godly” but really, they don’t understand the difference between emotion and love.

To fall asleep is to fall in love. That is why sex happens so often at night, it puts you in the mood for sleep because it can, or should at least, put you in the mood for love. So when we talk about insomnia, or lack of sleep, poor preparation for sleep, or a person who stays up because they don’t want to go to bed, the real reason is they just don’t feel lovable, and therefore can’t find stillness.

So, there’s the first of the three simple steps to long life vitality. Find stillness. Finding stillness requires that you learn the art of “Stepping away” Stepping away means being nothing. Just being nothing. It means walking for no reason. Kissing for no reason. It means sitting under a tree for no reason. Reasonlessness… if that is a word.

It’s getting harder and harder to leave without reason. Everything is reasonable. Reason is what children are taught is behind everything. Reason for this and a reason for that. “Why did you do that?” – “I don’t know” – “oh, come on, there must be a reason” When we always answer our children’s questions of “WHY?” with a reason, they loose the essence of reasonlessness. Just the art of being nothing, not being.

Children who can’t sleep are children with only reasons. There is no reason to fall asleep, we don’t need one. It is just time to surrender, and be ourselves. If we are taught always to be someone, do someone, act someone or become someone then sleep is hard to achieve, because in bed, no matter where we are, we are with ourselves. We are us. Reasonlessly.

Nature is the greatest teacher of stillness. If we go outside

The appreciation ritual is the process of going over the past 24 hours and mentally, or quietly with partner, listing everything you can be thankful for, for that whole period. Then add the whole week, the year and finally your life. If you do this in bed, you’ll sleep more than most and better.

Dealing with cause – The first step in maintaining vitality of life/.

These recommendations are very important. They really help your quality of sleep but they really come naturally to us when we understand the gift of stillness. The person who does not like their own company will not sleep well. Guilt, shame, anger, victim hood and more emotions make it hard to be alone with yourself. So good sleep is one of the best rewards for a good life, a real life.

Stillness is the art of enjoying your own company. Without proving, doing, achieving or wanting, without not wanting or not proving, being real, being yourself. Just stillness. The art of just lying there in bed, together with your lover or alone, in stillness, is a magnificent gift. One that we all have, naturally, if we live in an authentic way.

Being yourself? Who is that? Which self? This is the deepest question you can ask. Which self you want to be. The smaller you define self – i.e. the more accurately you define self, the more ego you have. To say “I am nothing” for example, is the height of egotism. To say “I am everything” is even greater egoism. These definitions of yourself just promote drama and subsequent sleeplessness.

How can you sleep deep when you are being someone. If there is a sense of self, that means you are stuck in your ego, unable to surrender. Sleepless people are stuck in their ego. They might say they are “godly” but really, they don’t understand the difference between emotion and love.

To fall asleep is to fall in love. That is why sex happens so often at night, it puts you in the mood for sleep because it can, or should at least, put you in the mood for love. So when we talk about insomnia, or lack of sleep, poor preparation for sleep, or a person who stays up because they don’t want to go to bed, the real reason is they just don’t feel lovable, and therefore can’t find stillness.

So, there’s the first of the three simple steps to long life vitality. Find stillness. Finding stillness requires that you learn the art of “Stepping away” Stepping away means being nothing. Just being nothing. It means walking for no reason. Kissing for no reason. It means sitting under a tree for no reason. Reasonlessness… if that is a word.

It’s getting harder and harder to leave without reason. Everything is reasonable. Reason is what children are taught is behind everything. Reason for this and a reason for that. “Why did you do that?” – “I don’t know” – “oh, come on, there must be a reason” When we always answer our children’s questions of “WHY?” with a reason, they loose the essence of reasonlessness. Just the art of being nothing, not being.

Children who can’t sleep are children with only reasons. There is no reason to fall asleep, we don’t need one. It is just time to surrender, and be ourselves. If we are taught always to be someone, do someone, act someone or become someone then sleep is hard to achieve, because in bed, no matter where we are, we are with ourselves. We are us. Reasonlessly.

Nature is the greatest teacher of stillness. If we go outside

To fall asleep is to fall in love. That is why sex happens so often at night, it puts you in the mood for sleep because it can, or should at least, put you in the mood for love. So when we talk about insomnia, or lack of sleep, poor preparation for sleep, or a person who stays up because they don’t want to go to bed, the real reason is they just don’t feel lovable, and therefore can’t find stillness.

So, there’s the first of the three simple steps to long life vitality. Find stillness. Finding stillness requires that you learn the art of “Stepping away” Stepping away means being nothing. Just being nothing. It means walking for no reason. Kissing for no reason. It means sitting under a tree for no reason. Reasonlessness… if that is a word.

It’s getting harder and harder to leave without reason. Everything is reasonable. Reason is what children are taught is behind everything. Reason for this and a reason for that. “Why did you do that?” – “I don’t know” – “oh, come on, there must be a reason” When we always answer our children’s questions of “WHY?” with a reason, they loose the essence of reasonlessness. Just the art of being nothing, not being.

Children who can’t sleep are children with only reasons. There is no reason to fall asleep, we don’t need one. It is just time to surrender, and be ourselves. If we are taught always to be someone, do someone, act someone or become someone then sleep is hard to achieve, because in bed, no matter where we are, we are with ourselves. We are us. Reasonlessly.

Nature is the greatest teacher of stillness. If we go outside in nature and sit in a park, very soon we get restless. Because we aren’t the most important thing in the park. We are looking at the park, we are a part of the park but we don’t own, control, manage, plan, design, care for, possess or even reject the park. We are in the park but not the dominant force. So we get restless – sometimes we get restless because there is too much stillness. Or we become overwhelmed with the beauty, too much beauty overwhelms us, our sense of self is lost.

The best sleep comes to a body that’s done a days exercise, to a mind that’s thankful, to a heart that’s loving. But the deepest sleep of all comes to a person who is in love with stillness. They are the ones who can die to the day, and be reborn to the morning anew.

Live with Spirit