used to doing when I had a partner? Luckily, he is now old enough to stop me. Last night, for example, I was at my computer and he came to speak with me. Now, being a kinesthetic person, he touches and fiddles with everything. I usually have a lit candle by my desk when I am"Quarrels would not last long if the fault was only on one side." ~ Fran?ois de la Rouchefoucauld.

"Be not the first one to quarrel, nor the last to make up" ~ Anon

It is about time we stopped blaming out our spouses for everything that goes wrong in our lives. What a tendency we have to assign guilt to other people! Everyone makes mistakes, including us, or should I say, especially us.

Our problem is that we expect a lot from other people, especially our children and our spouses and, more often than not, they will not correspond, not because they are unwilling, but because they are humans. And then, bang! Off we go, criticizing, assigning blame, and even worse, yelling. Now I ask: how fun is it to live with someone who is constantly blaming others for everything that happens? Can’t we just let go and accept that no one is perfect?

In my case, except when Alex was learning to drive, when I screamed and yelled a lot, I am not the yelling type. Nevertheless, I see myself blaming him for everything that happens in the house. And consider he is only my son. What was I used to doing when I had a partner? Luckily, he is now old enough to stop me. Last night, for example, I was at my computer and he came to speak with me. Now, being a kinesthetic person, he touches and fiddles with everything. I usually have a lit candle by my desk when I am

at a tendency we have to assign guilt to other people! Everyone makes mistakes, including us, or should I say, especially us.

Our problem is that we expect a lot from other people, especially our children and our spouses and, more often than not, they will not correspond, not because they are unwilling, but because they are humans. And then, bang! Off we go, criticizing, assigning blame, and even worse, yelling. Now I ask: how fun is it to live with someone who is constantly blaming others for everything that happens? Can’t we just let go and accept that no one is perfect?

In my case, except when Alex was learning to drive, when I screamed and yelled a lot, I am not the yelling type. Nevertheless, I see myself blaming him for everything that happens in the house. And consider he is only my son. What was I used to doing when I had a partner? Luckily, he is now old enough to stop me. Last night, for example, I was at my computer and he came to speak with me. Now, being a kinesthetic person, he touches and fiddles with everything. I usually have a lit candle by my desk when I am

d, not because they are unwilling, but because they are humans. And then, bang! Off we go, criticizing, assigning blame, and even worse, yelling. Now I ask: how fun is it to live with someone who is constantly blaming others for everything that happens? Can’t we just let go and accept that no one is perfect?

In my case, except when Alex was learning to drive, when I screamed and yelled a lot, I am not the yelling type. Nevertheless, I see myself blaming him for everything that happens in the house. And consider he is only my son. What was I used to doing when I had a partner? Luckily, he is now old enough to stop me. Last night, for example, I was at my computer and he came to speak with me. Now, being a kinesthetic person, he touches and fiddles with everything. I usually have a lit candle by my desk when I am

nd accept that no one is perfect?

In my case, except when Alex was learning to drive, when I screamed and yelled a lot, I am not the yelling type. Nevertheless, I see myself blaming him for everything that happens in the house. And consider he is only my son. What was I used to doing when I had a partner? Luckily, he is now old enough to stop me. Last night, for example, I was at my computer and he came to speak with me. Now, being a kinesthetic person, he touches and fiddles with everything. I usually have a lit candle by my desk when I am

used to doing when I had a partner? Luckily, he is now old enough to stop me. Last night, for example, I was at my computer and he came to speak with me. Now, being a kinesthetic person, he touches and fiddles with everything. I usually have a lit candle by my desk when I am working. I don’t know how he did it, but during our brief conversation, he managed to extinguish the candle with the wick inside the wax. I looked at the candle, gave him the evil eye and was about to complain when he said: "Oh, well!" There. That was enough to shut me up. Clever boy!

Now, if only I could shut up all the time! I am learning, though. And the many times I accuse him of wrongdoing, I immediately retract. I am doing my best, being confident that even before he moves out, I will have mastered accepting the man he is.

So, how can we prevent blame and accusations in our relationship? It takes effort, but by paying attention, we can become aware of this nasty behavior and put a halt on it. Arguments will vanish instantly the day we decide to lower our expectations and accept the fact that it takes two to tango. Let’s understand that we are also to blame; always.

A Word of Advice Ladies: Before we criticize, or God forbid, attack, let’s become aware of the need to do so. So many problems are easily solved without resorting to yelling.

Gents: Do not allow